Depressed mood on noFap - my story

Hello brothers,
At first I'd like to put a little disclaimer that thit post contains some emotional shit and philosophical observations, it's also going to be a long read.

So, before I started noFap I was in quite okay mood, I had confidence and I excercised regularly, however I was in love with mess and destruction, I was too emotional, my mind was so manipulated by porn and social media that I was kind of masochist for myself, I had worse and worse sexual fantasies and fetishes, and in some moment I decided to stop because I didn't feel like myself, though I did feel good.

When starting noFap I was sure it is beginning of the journey, and that I won't be the same after 90days, I am 19 years old so I have also been aware that a lot is going to happen in my life through period of 90 days (and more).
I was very successful in noFap, I had 80 days streak I finished just because of semen test and then another long streak, and noFap made me completely new person.
I am complete opposite of who I have been half year ago, in terms of moral views and behavior, I had become manly, cold and logical, however I was having severe flatline for mostly all of the time, I had severe social anxiety and procrastination issues, I feelt so much nervous, I stopped excercise - my thought on this is that I am being my real self which is not easy for psyche after years of damage, so It's better to feel like shit as a man than to be happy with being cuck shit - something like Plato's cave.

And what did I do about it?
Recently - few days ago I have fallen into edging (it's my bad habit that I stimulate myself in any way if I feel stressed) and relapsed during it as I thought it would ease my mood symptoms, since then I relapsed 3 times, and I feel a bit hopeless, it is way worse than it was during the streak, I feel like my past is chasing me with all of that decadence and sexual perversion I had in myself, I hate it and I feel bad that I still have in my head after so long streak.
I have a job, university and renovation work (I have to work 7 days a week) I barely have motivation for it, but it is my duty.
Today I am starting my streak again, wish me well.
Neva