Dear diary

New thread for myself and anyone who stumbles across this and maybe gets something out of it. The goal for this thread is really for me to recap on my days, vent, and try to inspire myself sometimes idk. It will really just be a brain dump. Because I seem to have OCD at some point there will probably be a structure to these journals somehow. For now anyway I have an hour in my day when i listen to jazz and have an hour of data so during that Ill brain dump into this journal

Reason I am posting here, is because about 5 years ago I really was trying to kick my addiction to PMO. Well I kinda have... although the way I navigate it nowadays is my masturbating every day in shower in morning with just my imagination. This seems to keep me less tempted to watch porn so at most ill watch once every month or so, although ideally this would be never because still porn is not great for me. However, I have grown a much healthier relationship with this and am not thinking about it all the time which I think is helped by the masturbation. However, on a side note, I am definietely looking to start dating as I am still a virgin at 25 and feel a bit insecure about this. My plan is when I move location in a few months I will get on my tinder and try to go on a date a week as a sort of challenge, so stay peeled for that.

As I mentioned I am quite OCD, and heavily inspired by the book atomic habits which i highly recommend (and also attribute to kicking porn addiction). My schedule looks like this currently.

Weekdays:
6.30 wakeup
6.50 meditate 20min
7.10 gym
7.45 make lunch/brekkie/shower/changed/get ready
8.30 uni 2.5 hrs
11.00 meditate/gym
12.00 uni 2.5 hrs
2.30 1hr listen jazz/journal
3.30 podcasts/practice guitar
5.30 dinner/sing and guitar
6.00 tv pract guitar 2hrs
8.00 wind down/read
9.30 sleep

Weekends
6.00 wakeup
6.20 meditate 20min
6.40 gym
7.00 make lunch/brekkie/shower/changed/get ready
8.00 work
2.00 1hr listen jazz/journal
3.00 podcasts/practice guitar
5.30 dinner/sing and guitar
6.00 tv pract guitar 2hrs
8.00 wind down/read
9.30 sleep

This is not as strict as it seems, rather i just have consistent things to try to get through in the days and timing need not be exact, altho most of these things are very exact.

Also I forgot to mention I am a minamilist, which i guess goes along with the ocd. I think I have social anxiety which I try to overcome with doses of rejection therapy and meditation. Im quite healthy physically, and financially, starting a new job once I finish uni which is all lined up.

Currently Im just trying to be consistent with uni and a few other things going on before I will change up my routine and set new goals, one definitiely being the amount I am talking to girls.

Because this has lingered on so long here is a quick day recap.
Normal routine wake up, very efficient grocery shop and did all my weeks meal prep. Then I had a presentaiton which I did over zoom and felt a bit guility as if I was avoiding the social anxirety of doing it in person which feels like avoidance, anwyays I ticked it off. Then I decided i will not sell my imac and that I will seperate out my work belongings when I get them. then I setup my tinder ready for january next year.

I am feeling optimistifc about this journalling. My goal is consistency over quality, which is evident already so apologies in advance.

Seeya tomorrow!

 

Thanks for the encouraging words, I didn't think anyone would bother to read so was a pleasant surprise, it really is a great community on here Also, have you read atomic habits? Just wondering cause thats where I got a lot of inspiration for my routine and habit related lifestyle.