Day 9

Hello, im a 23yo male, college student and I from a long time I have self esteem problems, depression and even suicide thoughts on the worse days. Im also very anxious and used masturbation as an escape valve for that. One day while I was reading about depression I met nofap, and after some reading and YouTube about it I decided to try the rebooting.
In my first attempt I did 32 days of no PMO, but at a stressfull day I relapsed and started to feel very bad. After that relapse my desire to masturbate multiplied for 50 and I went for like 2 weeks doing it (everyday and sometimes 3 times a day) and thinking all the worst shit in the world. So I decided to start again, and here I am, on my 9th day. However today I had 2 spontaneous emissions while I was peeing. This never happened before and this is bothering me, because it causes a little pain and discomfort. Also, Im finding this second attempt much more difficult than the first one, I dont know if it is just because of the rebooting process, but I am with difficult to sleep (even after a tiring day) and compulsive disorder with food.