Day 43, Very Strong Urges but New Goals

blews · Aug 12, 2018

I've made a lot of progress throughout this last month, getting erections more often and getting aroused in general more often. Without P, I'm having hard time resisting not even edging but just a really wild imagination. Walking down the street and even driving I lose focus and can't help but keep looking at girls if I see someone thats really attractive. Two weeks ago I was having no problems or urges but now they are back stronger than ever. Recently I've had really strong urges to look at hentai, which is weird because in recent years I kind of got over hentai, but in my mind I feel like my urges for hentai specifically is because I just want to look at something really intense and fetishy. It's been really hard to resist these urges recently but I know I need to make it at least 90 days, and knowing myself I know I'm going to have to go even longer.

As far as my imagination goes, sometimes I start to imagine like the fetishy things I used to be into again and even if I dont even touch myself I feel like these thoughts are hurting my progress.

In terms of good progress though, even though one of my triggers is TV shows and movies, I've found recently from watching these shows its triggering a real general arousal which lasts and affects me for a while, and its more real than like the arousal or urge to watch porn.

My new goals are to really train my will power to resist urges and push forward with nofap even with temptation. Instagram used to be my main trigger but since uninstalling it, facebook has started to get a little worse. Luckily facebook doesnt have as much material as instagram so its pretty easy to avoid triggers. Ive unfollowed the majority of pages that might have any good looking girls but I think the presence of some (but much less) will be good for me to force myself to change.

Its only been 43 days but I've already had so many ups and downs throughout this entire process. I honestly didn't think it would be this hard, and after coming this far I realize how hard it is to push for these crazy high streaks. Urges right now are stronger than ever but they also keep me focused!

slink123456 · Aug 12, 2018

blews said: ↑

I've made a lot of progress throughout this last month, getting erections more often and getting aroused in general more often. Without P, I'm having hard time resisting not even edging but just a really wild imagination. Walking down the street and even driving I lose focus and can't help but keep looking at girls if I see someone thats really attractive. Two weeks ago I was having no problems or urges but now they are back stronger than ever. Recently I've had really strong urges to look at hentai, which is weird because in recent years I kind of got over hentai, but in my mind I feel like my urges for hentai specifically is because I just want to look at something really intense and fetishy. It's been really hard to resist these urges recently but I know I need to make it at least 90 days, and knowing myself I know I'm going to have to go even longer.

As far as my imagination goes, sometimes I start to imagine like the fetishy things I used to be into again and even if I dont even touch myself I feel like these thoughts are hurting my progress.

In terms of good progress though, even though one of my triggers is TV shows and movies, I've found recently from watching these shows its triggering a real general arousal which lasts and affects me for a while, and its more real than like the arousal or urge to watch porn.

My new goals are to really train my will power to resist urges and push forward with nofap even with temptation. Instagram used to be my main trigger but since uninstalling it, facebook has started to get a little worse. Luckily facebook doesnt have as much material as instagram so its pretty easy to avoid triggers. Ive unfollowed the majority of pages that might have any good looking girls but I think the presence of some (but much less) will be good for me to force myself to change.

Its only been 43 days but I've already had so many ups and downs throughout this entire process. I honestly didn't think it would be this hard, and after coming this far I realize how hard it is to push for these crazy high streaks. Urges right now are stronger than ever but they also keep me focused!
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Only 43 days.... man 43 days is incredible. A lot of people on this site wish they could reach that far.

My best streak this year is 46 days. I am now on Day 24 going into 25. Like you, I have been getting a lot of haunting thoughts (even dreams sometimes) from past PMO use, I don’t know if it’s a sign of recovery or not but it sucks. However in the dream I did ‘abstain’ and ‘switched off’ whatever it was in front of me, so that is, hopefully, a good sign.

The looking at girls in the streets is a really difficult one. I have found that looking away or keeping your eye in a straight line when in the streets so it doesn’t wander, helps. It also becomes a habit. But this time of year is difficult for that... almost anyone you can think of is half naked. Like you, I hate it but all you can do is make a habit of not staring, in your mind, put it in a box and kick it away like you don’t need it.

Facebook can be bad for triggers. I don’t spend too long on there at the minute. It has been my downfall in the past massively. I just spend a few mins and then do something else. Lately it’s been spent outside.

If I were you I would avoid anything anime/hentai as that leads to even more messed up/gross stuff it’s just not worth it.

Your post has inspired me to keep going. Well done to how far you’ve come, and I wish you all the best in your journey. Let’s hope we can both quit forever.

blews · Aug 12, 2018

slink123456 said: ↑

Only 43 days.... man 43 days is incredible. A lot of people on this site wish they could reach that far.

My best streak this year is 46 days. I am now on Day 24 going into 25. Like you, I have been getting a lot of haunting thoughts (even dreams sometimes) from past PMO use, I don’t know if it’s a sign of recovery or not but it sucks. However in the dream I did ‘abstain’ and ‘switched off’ whatever it was in front of me, so that is, hopefully, a good sign.

The looking at girls in the streets is a really difficult one. I have found that looking away or keeping your eye in a straight line when in the streets so it doesn’t wander, helps. It also becomes a habit. But this time of year is difficult for that... almost anyone you can think of is half naked. Like you, I hate it but all you can do is make a habit of not staring, in your mind, put it in a box and kick it away like you don’t need it.

Facebook can be bad for triggers. I don’t spend too long on there at the minute. It has been my downfall in the past massively. I just spend a few mins and then do something else. Lately it’s been spent outside.

If I were you I would avoid anything anime/hentai as that leads to even more messed up/gross stuff it’s just not worth it.

Your post has inspired me to keep going. Well done to how far you’ve come, and I wish you all the best in your journey. Let’s hope we can both quit forever.
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Stay with it! The hardest part for me really is maintaining my motivation to get better. As long as I can find motivation I have a strong reason to abstain from relapsing. Even with all the temptation we experience we will get better eventually if we can just push through

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Day 43, Very Strong Urges but New Goals

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