Day 34

I actively began fighting my pornography addiction on the 30th of January this year after discovering nofap and seeing that people do go through the same problems and not everyone actually enjoys spending their time on pornography. My porn journey began with this medical book my mom had with diagrams of naked women, back when I was a kid. I graduated to the French version of the Elle magazine which featured a lot of top naked women and one night when I couldn't sleep and was perusing through tv networks at night, I came to realize that Trace France played the dirty version of music videos late night and ads for French brothels which were quite intent on getting customers- so they'd go all out- you'd see everything! They stopped showing those so I checked around some more and came across canal+ and rtl9 -still French channels that showed explicit r-rated movies late night.
Naturally, my mom caught me and I stayed away a while until a friend introduced me to Internet porn a little later, when I was 11, I think, and all hell broke loose. My mom caught me a couple more times but it never seemed to stop me.I started masturbating around the age of 14- I even remember how I started. I was sent to a boarding school for a while, which did help, cause my pornography addiction was broken for a while and I'd proceed to get laid a lot.
After high school, I got a girlfriend who has a pornography addiction to date. She's my X now but we talk and she still tells me she likes porn. The point is, she reintroduced me to porn and we'd practice a couple things here and there but it came to a point where I'd beat it so much that I wouldn't want to sex her. I think that's why we broke up. I had a couple flings thereafter but the same issue would resurface leading to break ups.
Porn occupied most my free time thereafter and my oh so expansive social circle got cropped down to just 5 friends cause I'd just avoid everyone who I didn't meet in school so I could be alone at home tenderizing. Sadly school started to take a toll cause I wouldn't wake up in time cause I'd just binged the previous night. I'd skip early morning class if I woke up with a boner cause "I wouldn't concentrate in class if I thought about porn" or " I couldn't talk naturally with girls if I thought about porn".

Bottom line is I've gone two years without a girlfriend and I came to a point where I had ambition without motivation or time cause porn took up all my motivation and time. Plus I've had a crush on this girl for the past 4 years and when I had the chance to get at her back in January- she was walking home and I was driving in the same direction looking fresher than a bitch's bitch- I flaked. So I googled why my confidence was so low and I came across NoFap.

The first 20 days since Jan 30 this year were hard. I'd find myself watching porn- tumblr often being the trigger. But I didn't masturbate for those days until the 20th when the inevitable happened. I read up a bit more and realized that to properly reboot you have to abstain from masturbation AND porn. I've gone 34 days since without PMO.
There was a day a couple weeks ago, though, when I had a nasty wet dream and I was on edge the whole day. The urge just wouldn't go. What's worse is that it was a free day. I took cold shower after cold shower but it couldn't be helped. I went to sleep at night and woke up okay but, damn was it hard! After that day, it hasn't been as hard.

I've already began experiencing the superpowers mentioned. I've hit on four different girls the past 3 weeks. I got 2 numbers and I'm going on a date tomorrow. I feel motivated. I've been learning Java on the side the past 26 days and I'm reading more books like I did when I was still free from this vice. I could go on forever but I might get boring. If you're to take anything from my little rant, it's that I'm glad I came across nofap and no matter how deep you may feel you are, you can climb out. I'm climbing out.

 

I

pretty much avoid anything provocative and get out the house. I realized triggers could be anything in your daily life and so I tackled the social media and erotic anime bit- which seemed most provocative. I also challenge myself to get out there and interact more with my old friends and new friends so that I can avoid those moments alone with my computer. And I decided if I'm ever to nut again, it should at least be in or on someone else- I don't mean it in a perverted way, don't get me wrong- I'd just like to give sex the purpose it was intended to have. Bringing people together in mutual pleasure.