Everything started to go bad. Ever since I started university my anxiety has become worse. In my first few weeks I was energetic and happy as hell because it was a new beginning and I really never had time to even think about sex or masturbating. Then, things started to get worse. The heavy courseload and being exposed to a different community ( because I moved to a whole new country for university) made me feel stressed and ofcourse, the usual me, had to beat the fuck outta his dick whenever he felt down. I used to think fapping would release stress. Well, it does, for a few hours. Then things start to get horrible. My anxiety levels go from 0 to 10000 the day I fap. And it usually lasts for a few weeks.In my first few weeks of university, I hadnt fapped for about two weeks. And, believe me, these two weeks were probably the best two weeks of my life. I never felt like I had low self esteem and nothing really mattered to me. i used to enjoy everything I do. I felt masculine as fuck. Then, 11 days ago, (when I had a really shitty day the day before and beat the fuck out of my dick mainly because of my anxiety and the fact that it makes me act weird infront of people) I started waking up. I started thinking about how life was amazing when i started university because I never felt anxious or down. I realised that masturbation really did ruin my life. I decided to stop. 3 days of being clean and I felt like I can conquer the world. I started conversations with people and never felt anxious as much as I used to before .i started feeling masculine AS HELL. 5 days of being clean. I had a bad day but it never bothered me much, in fact I felt stronger and happier due to the fact that the things that used to bother me dont anymore. 7 days of being clean, oh man, I feel like my testerone levels have spiked . Im starting to feel horny as fuck and every girl I see seems like a target. But i always remember that im strong and I can continue what I started. 10 days. I FEELA AMAZING. every day seems like a new start. A new adventure. Im starting to feel energetic. And believe it or not, I barely have anxiety anymore. And here I am, in my 11th day of being clean. Feeling like a motherfucking king. This seems hard, but I plan to stop completely. Yes completely until I have sex with a woman. Thought I would share this with you guys. Cheers
