Day 1

Fellow Fapstronauts,

Well like many of you I have misused porn and discovered that it is interfering with my life in a less than positive manner, porn<+. I don't believe that porn is inherently bad, I just don't want to fall victim to my own impulse control issues re: porn.

I discovered porn at a pretty normal age, about 13. I quickly enjoyed it a bit too much, and have since developed an addiction. I recognized my addiction in my mid 20's. Thought I could beat it myself. I tried and failed many times. Things got worse, it has now hurt relationships, and began to erode my life. It has caused me to question my morality, 'normalness', and other things in my life.

I genuinely want to quit and. I have a woman in my life I use as an accountability partner, but I have been afraid to let her in completely for fear of judgement and losing her. I am going to try to use multiple tools for success, allowing her in and Nofap. So thank you in advance for your support and encouragement.

I have tried to find the root of my addiction. I have found that at this point my mind clearly associates the high of an orgasm with porn, almost as if I can't have one without the other (though at the end I realize porn did not enhance the feeling, and left me feeling disgusted with myself). I also have noticed my hardest times are when my self-esteem is low, I am feeling depressed, or a loss of control. All can happen in different ways, when I exhibit cowardice in confrontation, or when some stressor is bothering me that I don't want to discuss for fear of feeling weak, or exposing a weakness...etc.

Last use 9/18/2015...1+ days sober and counting.

I hope to kick my own habit and help anyone who needs it.

 

Thanks, looks like you are well into a reboot. Keep it up. I know it gets hard around the two week mark but keep it up. Helps to know others are going through it.