Dating or Waiting?

What is your opinion:

I have to say that I always have mixed, confused and/or uncertain feelings
about dating. Not just during the reboot, either...

If I was young, planning a family, had my whole life in front of me,
I probably would just want to hit the reboot hard,
make a bunch of money so I could settle down.

Most guys don't get to the top like that, but
there's more to life than money.

But I never had kids and I'm divorced.

So I ask myself, should I get re-married?

Ugh. I just don't know about that idea.

Alright so if I'm honest, then it is all about the sex.
Should I date and try to find someone?

Eh. Dating. What a joke.

To meet a girl, nowadays there is a whole maze of "approach strategy"
and I do not like any of it.
It's not me.

Then I get lonely so I decide to "fake it until I make it".
I put on the expensive shoes, gel in the hair, listening to
Tove Lo, en route to the clubber.

An hour later, I think, what am I doing here?
I'm a Christian!

So I come back home and journal on NoFap...

Then I start thinking, a few days later,
maybe I should try to meet a girl?

Well, I was already at the clubber and I went home.
So is the next one another short-timer and pike out?

What do you all do to solve this cycle, this redundancy, this pointless repitition?

 

Yeah I know! I want the woman, not the bar! Not the whole insane scene.

Ok not a big deal. You're in the chaser. Give yourself the week, start over next week.

Nah, I'm not where I want to be yet financially. Working on it.

To gf or not to gf....that is the question.....actually, that is the only question....

Seems like there is the possibility of love, out there, somewhere, on a forgotten lottery ticket, floating in the gutter...

No I can't date single mothers because then you have to take care of the child which isn't yours.

That sucks in such a big massive way.

Any certain girl I'm looking for?

I guess I could settle for Angelina Jolie...

I might be convinced to take Taylor Swift,

if someone twisted my arm, but if I was in pain,

I'd shake it off...

 

The way it works now is that if you date a single mother, the court system assumes that you are helping pay for her bills. So some states are making guys pay money to single mothers in these situations, if the guy breaks up, even though they weren't married.

The guy has 2 choices, to fight it or pay. It's basically a break even situation.

So I say, don't do it. Keep looking.

I'm not a rap fan, but the rock, punk or metal I like doesn't get me in the romantic mood for making an approach. So I put on the pop usually.

I don't fear being unable to hook up. I put in the work to get fit, so there's demand from women for that. Actually, when women want to hook up, they go for looks or athleticism, not money.

The reason I don't is because I don't like it. In 2019, I met this girl and we hooked up right away. I hadn't had sex before that for a long time.

After it was over, I had incredibly powerful feelings of guilt, shame and fear.

 

It feels like taking something valuable to a pawn shop. They pay you far less than it's value, but sometimes certain things become rare or collectible and you miss out on that as well.

There are some different things of value here. There is the potential, in earning and success, which is powered by NoFap, that gets cut off. There is the potential for a relationship with that girl, but now she is easy, which means that either she has no self-esteem, has a disease, or if we tried to build a relationship, would cheat.

God isn't going to send you bad luck since it's not a sin. But if you hook up, you are only going to have to do it all over again because these kinds of women aren't ready for relationships.

My suggestion is that you should complete this 90 day hard mode reboot. Keep it as clean as you can. Focus on your career or school. Get a promotion or good grades. Learn a valuable skill for earning money. Then go out and earn this money, and wait for the RIGHT girl. Take your time with dating her. This will solve two of your problems in one year, unless you have already solved the former.

 

Good suggestions! I don't want to date right now. I want to do a hard mode year.

So I just whine about it...

 

Sometimes I think I will really complete myself if I stay in this space of isolation.

Being alone is not painful.

Nooooooooo!!!!! Not more introspection!

If I do any more introspection, I would probably receive a license to be a proctologist...

 

Recovery is a good place to have a one-track mind. They need to build a foundation.

 

Recovery is as strong as you make it...