Crossdressing/sissy fetish with smoking fetish

Hi guys. I just came upon this firum by chance and Im not sure this is the right place to post this but I am struggling with strange fetishes that although I enjoy, they bring serious shame with it. Im not a sissy that likes humiliation but I love to wear and the thought of wearing female clothes and makeup and wig while smoking female cigarettes and having sex with crossdressers and men. My desire is to look fully female. It developed over time to what it is and dont know where the CDing came from but I have alwats had a fetish for female smokers. Especially long feminine ones. They kind of merged where I am what I desire I guess. I feel alone and dont know what to do. My girlfriend doesnt mind my desires but I cannot stand the guilt. Im at a loss because this is an addiction. Mostly porn but I have had thoughts of finding a man to have sex with
Help....anybody.

 

Sorry I think I already broke rules. I wasnt thinking.

 

That is not a bad idea. Thank you.