Creating Healthy Sleep Habits

My number one trigger time is when I am tired, laying in bed, but not yet asleep. In fact, I'd say 95-99% of triggers and relapses occur during this time. This is not an excuse or rationalization for failure. It's a pattern I need to effectively plan for. Years ago I had major insomnia issues. My sleeping habits have greatly improved by being disciplined with caffeine, exercising regularly, and staying out of bed until I am ready to sleep. In addition putting the phone and computer out of reach is imperative.

Alex Rhodes answered this question in the most recent NoFap Newsletter, which I will paste here, but I wondered if anyone had additional help or advice. This is still an area where I could use all the help I can get. I tend to have "monkey brain" and it usually takes an hour or more for me to fall asleep. Falling asleep instantly would greatly help me.


#AskAlex


Question: If you're trying to fall asleep but feel the urge, you meet a dilemma: either you engage in different techniques that temporarily kill the urge but keep you awake, or you allow yourself to relapse. This dilemma is especially problematic when you start work at eight in the morning. I don't want to masturbate, but I need to go to sleep so I wake up on time. If I'm this situation and it's around one AM, if not later, would relapsing be justified?


Hi there, thanks for your question. Using PMO to fall asleep is actually a rationalization that I hear quite often on NoFap. The thing is, it is just that, arationalization. Your brain has already decided that it wants PMO (cravings are to be expected because it is legitimately addictive) and you’re trying to jump through hoops to justify it. Don’t give rationalization that power over you; the time to break the cycle is right now.


There are many other ways to fall asleep. The first lie that you’re probably telling yourself is that PMO is the only solution to get to sleep on time. That simply isn’t the case - and all of the following alternative tools are healthier to implement than pornography.


It is imperative that you improve your sleep hygiene so that you’re actually tired at bedtime, rather than triggered, and fall asleep quickly.The best thing that you can quickly integrate into your life is regular exercise. It doesn’t need to be in the evening right before bed. In fact, for some people, that could be counter-productive because exercise right before bedtime could get your too energized to fall asleep. It is something that needs to be experienced rather than explained, exercise just does wonders for every area of your life and you’ll probably find yourself falling asleep quicker with this one change.


Modify your environment to be conducive to rebooting. Turn off electronic devices at least 30 minutes before bedtime. If you are used to PMOing with your smartphone or tablet in bed, stop bringing these devices to bed with you. If you need an alarm to wake up with, buy an analog clock and leave your electronic devices in another room.


Get into a regular routine. Routines (whether they are subconscious or conscious) make or break us. Thankfully, we can sculpt them to help us through the rebooting process. If possible, go to sleep at the same time and wake up at the same time every day. Add it to your calendar if you need to - consistency is important so that your brain and body knows when to start preparing for sleep.


You might find it useful to set up a bedtime ritual. If you are used to PMOing before bed, why not replace that activity with something beneficial? Rather than PMOing every day at 8:30, you can replace it with a positive ritual such as brushing your teeth and reading a great book. You can’t just remove porn from your life without filling the time and energy void with fulfilling activities.


When all else fails melatonin, a mild over-the-counter sleep aid, is a greattemporary crutch to get into a regular sleeping routine. It is the same stuff that your body produces - a naturally-occurring sleep-inducing hormone that makes you feel tired. I have used it in the past with great success, especially when the schedule is super sporadic (going to bed at 3 am or later) and a regular bedtime needs to be established.