Could you answer a few questions?

Hey scarecrow1,

I want to give you some feedback here. I imagine you are being a little harsh on yourself but either way women tend to be more attracted to your character than your physical appearance. Money and status are superficial attributes. If that’s all you have in your favour, you will attract shallow people and form unfulfilling relationships. For self improvement I would recommend improving your emotional intelligence, work on self esteem, and build confidence.

1. Are you single?
Married, but just barely.
2. How do you rate yourself in attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 10?
I’d say 6 but I’m probably underestimating
3. How do you rate the current quality of “love making”
There is none so that leaves plenty of room for improvement.
4. Could you guess the future quality of your “love making” if successful in NoFap?
It’ll be awkward at first as I’m a bit rusty but I think I’ve done well in the past so I have high hopes.
5. Do you believe self improvement can significantly increase your desirability to the opposite gender?
I know for a fact that it can.
6. Do you have interests and hobbies?
I’m interested in just about everything. As far as hobbies I actually practice; I play guitar, read, cook, and learn about psychology and philosophy.
7. If you do then do you feel you are making progress in them? Do you find it easy to stay motivated?
Most of my hobbies have take a back seat recently. I have neglected most of my responsibilities for quite a while so I’m just trying to catch up on taking care of the house, yard, myself, my relationship, and just getting my shit together. Motivation has always been one of my biggest struggles; I’ll work on recovery for a while and then lose the will and just stagnate or regress.

thanks.

 

1. Are you single?

Yes i am single. I am an addict so i don't know how to deal with women.
2. How do you rate yourself in attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 10? 1 worst 10 best)

-4
3. How do you rate the current quality of “love making”
-0
4. Could you guess the future quality of your “love making” if successful in NoFap?
- 10000 times more than now
5. Do you believe self improvement can significantly increase your desirability to the opposite gender?
Yes self improvement can do wonders
6. Do you have interests and hobbies?
travelling, reading etc
7. If you do then do you feel you are making progress in them? Do you find it easy to stay motivated?
No i will stay away or demotivated from my path from day 2-3 onwards, if i start anything

 

Married -30 years
Rate myself? I was easily an 8 when I married. I’d say a 4 now, being with an addict and time takes its toll.
Current love making-really awesome. I don’t have much libido since I started peri menopause but I still love it.
My husband is successful and in recovery so I’ll tell you what our past love making was - not great, sometimes horrible , frustrating, he had de when we married which turned to pied. Porn makes for horrible sex.
Self improvement will always increase attraction, it shows you care about yourself and can grow. I’ve never lacked men or woman being interested in me, even now.
Interests and hobbies-I love cross fit, lifting heavy. I love training dogs and horses, reading, music, drawing. I love long distance road biking and mountain biking, white water rafting and skiing.
Honestly too many things to write here.
Progress in them? Absolutely, every moment I learn something new or meet a personal record.
Motivation? It all makes me happy and feel good so that’s not really an issue. The only time I lack motivation is if it’s something I’m not really interested in.

 

1. I am married for close to 5 years.
2. I am possibly a 9 - not to blow my own horn or anything but I am often complimented even by strangers (which is really fucking awkward for me sometimes). Let me just be clear, this addiction does not discriminate against looks. Attractive men who seem to get "all the girls" can be addicts too. For some reason, attractive people seem to be more trustworthy (they're not always). Think Ted Bundy.
3. I think I am not too bad, my wife has never complained.
4. I have no doubt that it will be much better for both me and her.
5. Yes - as someone who is a natural extrovert and confident most of the time, self-improvement does wonders for friendships and relationships.
6. Yes, they include sport shooting, mountain biking and hiking and reading (I read A LOT) and cooking.
7. My wife is a big part of the success and progress I make in at least cooking, hiking and reading. Since starting my journey to sobriety I have certainly focussed more on my hobbies and interests and also on my wife and her wellbeing.

 

Interesting.....
Let's go.

1). Yes, im 23 currently single
Earlier i been very neurotic about relationships and was very needy and desperate about them.
Now been in this journey with you all n it's all changed.
Now Im living life with happiness and solitude.
That means im not going behind a girl ,sort of she's a trophy and im someone just to impress her and win her. Someone who's first happy with themselves and then coming together with a partner, whose at the same level to share their whole being with each other . That's real love , not needing anything from each other but are there to share and help each other grow.
2). 6
3). 10...
4). Yeah.. i want to channel and master my sexual energy, not the reverse it being my controller .
5). Yeah , it makes our mind clear and we're able to see the full picture of life instead of just ' trying with knowing anything '
6). Art, dance , music , meditation, yoga , workout, having deep conversations , walking, contemplating , reading , thats all i can think of right now.
7). Nah.. waves of ups and down..
Motivation is never stable for me .

What about you in that 7 th question. Do you find it easy to stay motivated?

 

We have a lot of the same hobbies! I train horses for a living, just learned to ski in Feb and I absolutely LOVE it and cannot wait for the season to start back up. I also mountain bike. So anyways just had to say "Hi!"

Ok my turn...
1. Are you single?
No. Married...13 yrs on Labor Day.

2. How do you rate yourself in attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 10? 1 worst 10 best)
Probably a 6. Somedays I feel like an 8 and others more like a 5. My husband would tell ya I'm a 10 so that's all that matters. lol

3. How do you rate the current quality of “love making”
Excellent.

4. Could you guess the future quality of your “love making” if successful in NoFap?
I am not doing nofap but my husband is currently going through recovery and it just keeps getting better and better.

5. Do you believe self improvement can significantly increase your desirability to the opposite gender?
Increase.

6. Do you have interests and hobbies?
Many. I train horses, rodeo, barrel race. My husband and I love to travel, camp, ski, hike, and mountain bike.

7. If you do then do you feel you are making progress in them? Do you find it easy to stay motivated?
When my husband gets off course in his recovery it effects me. I lose motivation and interest in the things I love and enjoy. I know his relapses aren't personal but it's hard not to feel hurt. I personally don't really ever get the urge to look at p since I quit a few years ago but when I did quit I found myself finding time to work on myself and and new hobbies. Most of my loss of motivation that I go through now has to do with my husband's recovery and the PTSD from betrayal trauma I am dealing with.

 

1. Yup.

2. A few months ago, I had a very broken personality, something that a lot of people would consider ugly. With that in consideration, I would have rated myself maybe a five or a six. I would rate myself a seven or an eight in my current state. I don't put too much attachment on these values, though.

3. I wouldn't know. Every time I've done it, I couldn't finish because of PMO.

4. In the sense that I would get an orgasm? Absolutely. Will I be "better in bed?" Well, if one severely reduces sex to how many times one can pump their partner in one sitting, then no. But if we looked at the other aspects like paying attention to the partners' needs and giving one's self fully to their partner (instead of using their body to masturbate,) then yes, the overall quality of love make would exponentially increase, I would say.

5. The answer is complicated. Every person told to work on themselves to find somebody does so and gets annoyed or disappointed when the thing doesn't work. It's like telling somebody that girls will like you if you go to the gym. It's a completely asinine reason to do so, because the opinions of others are so constantly changing. One day it will be a person who has muscles, and another day it will be a guy whose super skinny.

I used to joke that girls were only attracted to people who weren't me and who had qualities that weren't mine. All notions of self-improvement fall flat on their face when it comes to dating or attractiveness if they're done for attraction's sake. It doesn't matter how much of it you do, because if you do it for a combination of physical gratification and external gratification (which is what a good deal of a relationship offers,) a) when you don't get what you want, you're more likely to discontinue what you're doing, and b) you ironically are cheating yourself out of the path to becoming the most attractive by not caring or at least not putting too much stock in whether or not you're attracting somebody.

It's a very Taoist thing- you only get the thing when you don't want the thing. Also a trope in the first Harry Potter book.

6. Piano, meditation, learning German, reading. I have interests in spiritual cultivation and developing a positive, resilient philosophy that will serve me no matter what position I'm in.

7. I barely do piano since I don't have time for it like I used to. I don't know if I've become more focused in meditation but I've definitely become more consistent with it and I have more moments where I catch myself running a subconscious program when I'm on autopilot. So it makes me more pleasant to be around I'd say. That alone does a lot for me.

I read a lot more and study a lot of German from that (because after I move my time to do that will be more limited.) And I just got informally tested by a professor yesterday who said my German was at C1. If I told myself a year ago that, he'd be völlig aus dem Häuschen, to say the least.

 

I use to bull ride! Lol. I rode eventing cross country with my horses, now mostly just trail riding ( too many injuries! At 54 I need to not hurt myself anymore!) look into bloom for women if you haven’t already. Lots of good stuff for free on addiction and betrayal trauma.

 

Thank you!

 

Yes, always have been.

I think I used to be better than average, maybe a solid 6 or even 7. But in the last few years I've aged so much and frankly I think I look terrible a lot of the time. I'm self aware enough to realise I probably don't look terrible, but that's how I perceive myself.

Virgin lol. I'd probably struggle to get it up from sheer anxiety if I had the opportunity for sex.

I think NoFap can absolutely help in this area.

Yes, absolutely. Being a well-rounded and interesting person is appealing to others regardless of gender.

Yes. Reading, writing, gaming, listening to music. I try to go on walks every day.

I regularly struggle with motivation for everything but reading and writing. With reading it depends on what I'm reading, and I mean sometimes a book is just slow, it is what it is. Writing I sometimes work more slowly but I never outright stop. I'm too disciplined, which is ironic considering how much I suck at NoFap right now lol.

 

1. Yes.

2. I have been asked out by a girl before, but right now as I haven't worked on myself quite as much so I would rate myself a 7. Of course, self improvement will lead to a higher score ( my goal is 10 of course )

3. Haven't made love yet.

4. Pretty good.

5. I don't just believe, I know for a fact that it does. 100% sure.

6. Yes, researching self improvement, working out and basically any sort of physical exertion, getting to know people, studying many different fields (mostly just science though) etc.

7. Lately my mental health has been worse than it ever has and I've gotten a bit out of line honestly but I'm gonna work my way up again and when I do, I guarantee you that I will master anything and everything that I do.

 

1. Are you single?

Not married, but partnered.

2. How do you rate yourself in attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 10? 1 worst 10 best)

6

3. How do you rate the current quality of “love making”

Celibate. It would be very good.

4. Could you guess the future quality of your “love making” if successful in NoFap?

Future celibacy.

5. Do you believe self-improvement can significantly increase your desirability to the opposite gender?

Yes, especially if one rids oneself of masturbation and pornography - both!

6. Do you have interests and hobbies?

Spirituality, religion, cooking, home making, wanna-be fitness/exercise

7. If you do then do you feel you are making progress in them? Do you find it easy to stay motivated?

Yes, most especially without masturbation and pornography. I have raised the bar on my life interests and feel more motivated than before - stepping more into action, not just dreaming.

.