NoFap

  1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Controlling Anger Within A Relationship

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Mob Barley, May 8, 2022.

Tags:
  1. May 8, 2022 #1
    Mob Barley

    Mob Barley Fapstronaut

    130
    146
    43
    Yesterday I went on a date that I was looking forward to. This girl from work nearly begged to go on a date with me the week before thru text. We go out to eat then drive up to a spot for a for a few hours. After awhile the constant talking starting to bother me due to me having a headache and I suddenly exploded saying "enough talking lets go walk around or something!" The mood was soured and I think I might have ruined another perfectly good opportunity. I step out of the car and she immediately calls her mom then drives me back home.
    Doing SR for weeks often has me feeling much more easily irritated, and ready to go into a full rage. This was the 1st time I ever responded like this on someone for something so small. Have any of you experienced this? If so how have you dealt and resolved the situation?
     
    Mob Barley, May 8, 2022
    Mob Barley, May 8, 2022
    #1
    SamFischer likes this.
  2. May 9, 2022 #2
    SamFischer

    SamFischer Fapstronaut

    8
    6
    3
    I've been in PAWS for years now and I feel your pain! The past 4 years have been hell. I feel so angry 99% of the time and it feels like it will never end :( . I think about killing myself everyday. I went completely off the rails once and basically exploded on someone. I mostly try to avoid people right now because I just get angry and irritated by everything. I think it's wise for me to get through my addiction before I feel well enough to be around people.

    Part of my problem is that I have trouble standing up for myself. I bottle things up and it just gets worse beneath the surface until I either let it out, or just rage in my head. I have a real issue with ruminating on all the past times I was angry and couldn't express my anger.

    I've found, that if I'm not getting enough to eat, I feel way worse. I think that feeling is dopamine withdrawal? I indulge in other forms of dopamine to compensate. I smoke a lot of weed, game, watch tv, and basically eat whatever I want. When I was new to NoFap, I was really into self-improvement, but after years of working on myself and dealing with all this I realized I was too weak and basically gave up. I told myself that I would do whatever I wanted until I got through PAWS. That was 2 years ago and now I just feel stuck...

    I'm sorry to hear that you deal with this too. I hope at least some of this may be helpful to you, my friend.
     
    SamFischer, May 9, 2022
    SamFischer, May 9, 2022
    #2
  3. May 9, 2022 #3
    Mob Barley

    Mob Barley Fapstronaut

    130
    146
    43
    Thank you for sharing this. I just needed more sleep, after I got back home that day I slept for 12 hours and felt a lot better the next day. You might also need more sleep b/c there's definitely a link between mood and sleep deprivation. During week I was only getting like 4-5 of sleep a day. This girl still responded to me the next day so maybe she forgave me for the outburst. I'll definitely be more aware of my mood going forward. I haven't felt like killing myself in a very, very long time thankfully since my late teens. I feel like life is slowing getting better but at the same time more difficult. I enjoy being around people most of the time but definitely need my space to recharge and just be alone in nature.

    Can you explain what PAWS is? Is that the animal welfare place?

    It sounds like you need to stop smoking weed. I've been cutting down over the last year and recently stopped for the past 3 weeks. Getting high everyday was making me retarded and dull. I'd honestly rather feel the anger or whatever emotion now and manage it than feel nothing. Having people around you who understand is what will help you the most, do not try and do this alone b/c it's way more difficult.
     
    Mob Barley, May 9, 2022
    Mob Barley, May 9, 2022
    #3
  4. May 9, 2022 #4
    SamFischer

    SamFischer Fapstronaut

    8
    6
    3
    Yeah, you're definitely right about that, but it's no easy task. I wake up so angry that I can't get back to sleep. I slept for 2 hours last night, 3 before, and 3 before that. I'm not sure what to do.
    Nice! Glad it worked out.
    It stands for Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome. It's fairly common with various different addictions. PAWS from porn addiction is notoriously the worst. It can take several months, even years to overcome.

    My day started off pretty bad, but it got a bit better. I went over to my uncle's and had a burger and watched a movie with him. I'm surprised at how much I laughed and talked. I'm usually too miserable to want to talk to anyone. Also, I was at the mall today, and some weirdo was staring at me and I felt angry and I just stared right back until he looked away lol. I get stared at a lot and I hate it. I'm usually too afraid to stand up for myself, but staring that guy down until he looked away felt good. Staring someone down that's being rude to you may not be much of a win for people with normal levels of confidence and self-esteem, but for me it was a win and a step in the right direction. I've been a punching bag my whole life and it felt good to "stand up for myself."
     
    SamFischer, May 9, 2022
    SamFischer, May 9, 2022
    #4

Share This Page