Confused and Devastated.

As we grow, some moments feel confusing and sad. It's tough realizing that we often don't understand relationships the way we should when we're younger(I mean too young). Instead of seeing connections with the opposite gender in a genuine and beautiful light, we sometimes stumble into private aspects unknowingly and get addicted. It leaves us feeling out of control and a bit damaged. There's this fear of not being good enough for someone or even messing up their happy life. I know I still have a lot to learn about these things, and I just want to get better.
I'm feeling all that.
I'm not married as of my age in our country and I don't know how it should be ideally.
Why did I get addicted?
What is the reality??
Can I find a way to recover myself?