committed to stop

Hi everyone, holding myself accountable. today shall be day 0.

for me, its having these urges, and spending about 10-20 minutes everyday or even abstaining a day or two, to go back to PMO, and feeling guilt and shame afterwards. I think this has gone on for more than 12 years now, and I am starting to feel like I can't think straight and mood is feeling low/ living a lie in a way/ going to become a bad person. Most of the time, relapsing is due to boredom or triggers in real life and on the internet. So i hope this community and a renewed motivation can spur me on.

I want to break out of this curse and live a healthy, honest and free life. And also be accountable to my family, my gf, my other social connections.