Cold Truths

I'm so appreciative of all the support I've gotten on here. Let me start with that first. And second let me say that what I'm about to post are lessons from my own life, most of which are hard learned, and some of which are hypocritical of me to say. I'm far from a perfect man, and am not claiming to be.

I see a lot of guys on here hurting. They're lonely and depressed. They are so damn envious of what they see around them, and vent and spew hatred for themselves in forum threads. They feel angry because they feel deserving of attention that others have, and they fail to get. Its a vicious cycle and if any of that sounds familiar, you need to recognize it and break it.

Gentleman, there is one simple fact about your life. If you don't enjoy yourself, you cannot expect anyone else to. Of course, people get blue about themselves from time to time, but I think if you've read this far...you get that what I'm talking about goes beyond that. You cannot just expect to quit PMO, break an addiction, and then magically everything will fix itself about yourself.

Be a man. Go out into the world, set on conquering something. Don't like your body? Scratch and crawl your way into a gym. Do something about it...start small. Hell, just vow to GO. Just starting something is always 3/4 of the battle.

Be a man. Be passionate about something that is GOOD for not only you, but society as a whole. Learn a skill, or multiple. Take up hobbies...never sell yourself short on what you can accomplish. And I'm sorry if this sounds sexist, but...MEN made it to the damn moon. Smart people with big balls and an even bigger rocket. You're a MAN...you're cut from the same cloth. What can you accomplish?

Be a man. Don't get easily offended! Sorry but words don't actually do anything to anyone unless they let them. And more importantly...learn to make fun of yourself. Learn how to have a sense of humor, no matter your situation. Look at me, I'm a pompous idiot that's trying to sound halfway intelligent and has probably made about twenty spelling errors so far.

And last. Be a man. Don't fill your life only with vapid entertainment. Educate yourself as much as you can. Fill at least some of your time with things that will teach you more about the world around you. Why? Because men are, somewhere in their life, supposed to lead. How can you lead anything lost in the dark? Learn crap from books! There's a lot of them, and now they make it so easy...you can pay a subscription to have someone read them to you once a month.


And PS. None of you are unique or special. Let me give you an example of how I realized this about myself. I love fishing, and wanted to get into fly fishing. No one I knew did it. I finally bought my first fly rod...and guess what....so did the biggest wave of people to hit the fly fishing industry ever. Literally...set records.

Everything you think, feel...want...so do thousands of other people. Take comfort in that during your darkest moments. Look at it as an opportunity. Instead of sulking, perhaps you could be the one to start something that lifts someone else up...instead of only dragging yourself down.


Let me know what you guys think...and love yourselves. You are worth it.

 

Oh no, I completely agree with your sentiment. Let me clarify a bit. No one really has unique emotions...or for the most part unique desires. They share them with many, many other people. Feeling depressed? So do a lot of other people. Want a new car? House? Girlfriend? So do a lot of other people. Struggling with this PMO addiction stuff? Hell you probably walk by a dozen other guys in public secretly struggling with the same battle...or more. Even the guy who seems to have it all, the one with a cute girl always on his arm....he struggles with things too and perhaps some of the same things you, I, or anyone else does.

And a big one, to stay on the dating theme. No guy is unique in his inability to stay calm talking to a girl he just met. Nearly everyone gets at least a little nervous, and a lot of them get really nervous! My point is...realizing you aren't the only person struggling with things is comforting.

I thought I had a problem talking to women. I thought I got nervous. My shift Captain at work looks like the freaking hulk...muscles out the ears. Tough dude...confident, fearless. Saw him get tongue-tied and shake meeting his now wife the first few times he took her out and made a complete ass of himself several times. Pretty funny all things considered. I didn't think he'd be anywhere near as awkward as me.

 

Why complicate it further though? I'm simply saying that it was a major revalation about myself. I'm not all that special, and the things I worry/struggle with...other people do too. Somehow I had it in my head that I WAS unique. That no one else had to deal with the cards I was dealt...that the world was stupid and unfair because of it. Simple fact was it wasn't true. Yes embrace the fact that you're an individual...but I think its important to recognize that people share more in common with one another than they think.