I had to deal with urges yesterday, got through them okay, I am just starting to become very horny. But it's emotional pain which I don't know how to deal with. It's part of our limbic system, the alarm is raised against logic and reality and pulls you back into it. It allows you to forget the pain which is going on in your life. When you go through pain it's nature to seek pleasure in the easiest format. It's quite a paradox really. Things need to be alright, a steady ship, not to deal with significant highs and lows in short time periods. I mean goodness, my mind was inflamed with suicidal thoughts about 30 minutes ago. It's ironic that it's the health sector which is triggering these thoughts. Tears, sadness and grief, all thanks to asking for help from the health services when I was younger. One tip: If you're mentally sick, the last place you should go is healthcare industry, they can fuck up all prospects for you. I did start looking at pornographic pictures then after 5 minutes decided to cut it out and thought I would write here before I decide to really relapse. I don't know how I feel right now. I've fallen back to square one because of this kinda reason so many times, because of having to deal disappointment, and the disappointment gets worse and worse every time I relapse. I am aware of it, it's all about choice, how do I want to deal with this pain, so I can either get drunk and listen to music, watch porn and trick my brain and allow it to be saturated in dopamine. Other things I feel too sad to do. I've got tunnel vision again. I'm sorry if I'm being too much of a victim, thanks for reading and even more thanks for replying friends.
pray very intense - for maybe 1 hour. or go for a very long walk. the pain is getting weaker after three weeks (in my case). stay strong and FIGHT!
When you struggled with depression as a child and reached out to health services, did they prescribe you medication. I want to tell you if this is the case I feel your pain, I was put on various medications as a child and feel I am extremely imbalanced mentally and it has effected my life in horrible ways. When I was in high school I was put on SSRI's which made me not give a damn about anything, at a critical point in my life when I should have been planning out where I wanted to go in life. Anyway, I know it's tough but you're going to have to find ways which will give you those pleasure chemicals in a healthy, positive manner. DO you exercise regularly, or do anything fun that's very physical like biking, parkour, gymnastics, swimming, martial arts, dancing, etc? I've found such physical activity has been of tremendous help in keeping me away from porn and to quell depression (along with some omega 3 fatty acids).
I've had mild depression all my life as well, with suicidal thoughts since my teens. It's odd how PMOing poses as a temporary solution, but have you ever felt better after? I sure haven't -- if anything, I end up just being tired and feeling like shit. On the reverse side, I don't think I've ever been in a great mood and thought "hey, I'll rub one out." Anyway, look into natural mood stabilizers. St. John's Wart works pretty well for me, but if you're on any other meds there can be deadly results. Cheers and good luck brother, we're all in this together.
