Changing for Good...

I added this to another thread but feel it might be helpful on its own. I certainly hope so.

There's a brilliant method for quitting any addiction which is outlined in the brilliant labour of genuine love book 'Changing for Good' by James O Prochaska (simply cannot recommended that book enough!)

Its based on studying people who quit by themselves as opposed to via traditional 12 step approaches which are most definitely not for everyone but as they have (had) the monopoly on 'recovery' this imbalance needed redressing, which this book does admirably.He identified that SUCCESSFUL LONG TERM self quitters shared a common experience of going through various stages which he categorized as:

Pre-contemplation- When the person hasn't even considered the possibility there is a problem

Contemplation - where it starts to dawn on them their unwanted behaviour is a problem (addiction being defined as something we do that is 'bad' for us but we currently can't seem to stop it) and during contemplations the 'addict' decides enough is enough etc

Preperation- they do research, prepare to stop etc, maybe even set a date.

Action- they stop the behaviour that is causing them a problem, and studies showed that this was much more likely to be effective if they have been through a preperation phase first. Also bear in mind the preperation stage (and contemplation) can often last for years if no action is taken!)

Maintenance - this is where your 90 days come in handy as a period of maintaining your decision to stop the behaviour/addiction

Termination- after a considerable amount of maintanence the old habiit is declared terminated. No need to be labelled a recovering whatever for the rest of your life etc. This is what I did with drink 5 years ago) after quitting on my own etc and when people ask me recently how I got through the recent, unwanted split with my wife without drinking I tell them that its quite simple. I do not drink and so therefore it simply isn't an option. But that termination only came after I was sure I had maintained my abstinence for a sufficient length of time (probably the best part of a year?)

Worth a look into? Tis your call.

To me my 90 day challenge is a period of maintenance after going through the prior stages. When those 90 are up (and I WILL make it!";-)) I will REVIEW my situation and see if I am ready to declare to myself that I have terminated that particular unwanted habit. If I have BINGO! ! If not i will set another maintanence period and take it from there.But as far as I'm concerned this is for good but I'm not going to be cocky enough to terminate it until I'm absolutely sure I have successfully rebooted etc.

Just suggestions B-)