When I was a kid there was a woman called Mary Whitehouse and at the time I remember thinking she was just some old prude sunday school teacher who needed to get a life because she was always banging on about banning nudity etc and as kids we just thought she was just plain sad and quite frankly more than a little, well, 'mad'. But this past few months ive noticed that amongst some friends, family, and aquaintances when im open about all this NoFap type stuff im getting the impression that people are starting to react towards me in the way we did to Mary Whitehouse all those years ago! I might be being a touch sensitive and I do tend to be 'enthusiastic' and even frustrated with people sometimes etc but has anyone else experienced this type of thing? I don't believe in censorship at all and yet am I advocating it by discouraging people from using porn etc? Have I turned into Mary Whitehouse?!?! Was she RIGHT???!!
What does porn have to do with censorship ? You're gonna annoy people no matter what it is you preach to them. Be it nofap ,no smoking , healthy eating , religions ,etc etc. People don't like you telling them how you're superior because you do this or don't do that. The actual subject is irrelevant.
I don't think so. The emphasis of the NoFap is choice, and that people abstain from PMO through choice. Mary Whitehouse on the other hand was a fundamentalist Anglican who made it her life's work to preach against 'offensive' content yet she made quite homophobic remarks.
So is being a vegetarian. It's a choice. It's still gonna annoy everyone if you constantly talk about how you're better than them for making said choice.
I've never heard of Mary Whitehouse and I have only told 1 friend (who views p regularly) and told my girlfriend. My friend did kind of react like that and was telling me nothing bad can come from viewing p and everyone does it ect, I said I believe it was a problem for me and I wasn't comfortable about the effects it is having on my life. Like Gail Dines said in the video December posted something along the lines of 'I could preach about the terrible practices that go on in the food industry and that wouldn't mean I'm anti eating, that would be ridiculous so why do people think if you talk about the p industry your a prude and anti sex'
Thats true R.C. and I dont drink, smoke, eat sugar or carbs, watch porn, fap, take drugs, drink caffeine, eat meat etc etc so I'm having to develop a REALLY thick skin!! And you know it can be something as simple as asking for hot water in a cafe so I can put my own tea bag in that can really piss some people off (seriously that happened this morning) and its like people get offended because you don't drink tea or coffee etc. And thats just a small petty example to illustrate how small and petty people can be sometimes (and yet it was absolutely fine in another café later so we're all different etc) And honestly there wasn't an ounce of preaching or self righteousness, just the simple reply that I just want hot water when asked why I hadnt put a tea bag in my mug (which I was also willing to pay full price for!) and the woman starts popping and fizzing and pulling her face etc!! And yes if we choose to be one of those gobshites who bangs on at people that our choices are superior to theirs we will piss them off as it would piss us off but there's also a time and place to be passionate about things and being willing to stand your ground or plain not being frightened to express ourselves etc.. I guess I was genuinelly confused about the original question I posed concerning porn and censorship as I guess there is a connection? I was 'just thinking out loud' about what is and isn't 'preachy' etc if we quit porn and are willing to discuss our reasons with others, especially when pressed by people on the defensive? But my question has been answered and I especially feel a lot clearer now aaron92 has helped me understand where Mary Whitehouse was actually coming from (thanks for that) and it would appear my childhood perceptions weren't that far off the mark after all! I hope all that made sense as am doing in dribs and drabs on my phone but I know that when we go against the grain (or get back into it in a world that has gone totally against it!) the sheepdog mentality does have a habit at barking at us (subtely or otherwise) to 'get back in line!' And I've always believed we have the right to share information but yes to be mindful of being preachy and especially imposing views etc which its just been good to clarify. Anyway it does help to get things off your chest and I guess thats what this forum is for sometimes. Cheers chaps
As it happens, I'm a vegetarian and I've had my share of people asking stupid questions about 'Why are you a vegetarian?' etc Even if I could do it, I would not want to ban porn, but I'd want honest info readily available about the potentiqlly harmful effects, perhaps in the same way alcohol has info websites in the UK like drinkaware.co.uk
Anon, wow I just skimmed that and it looks right up my street (I LOVE those kind of stories!) and exactly what I need to read right now (in general!) and I am going to print it off when I'm not on my phone so I can read it properly later. Thank you so much for that
I guess what ive learned from this thread is a confirmation of what I suppose I already knew (as so often happens when we ask a question) and that is there always a middle way. On one extreme we have the Mary Whitehouse fundamentalist 'our way or the highway' types who usually end up repelling people and on the other we have those who (for various reasons) simply say nothing (fear of what others will think? Couldn't care less? Lack of information just being a few examples) I guess im reminded of a long time favourite quote from Martin Luther King... "Cowardice asks the question; is it safe? Expediency asks the question; is it politic? Vanity asks the question; is it popular? But conscience asks the question; is it right? And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but one must take it because it is right." And I guess Gandhi hit the nail on the head when he said, "Be the change you want to see in the world"? Maybe?
kudos to you jiltedjohn, I'd never have the guts to talk about my fapping issues with close ones! I'd find it so awkward. Deep inside they probably know you're right, but they just don't have the balls to speak out like you do!
Trust me mate after 81 one days of NoFap I could knock down the empire state building with my balls!! (just kidding they're fine!)
A read it properly and I wont go overboard with comments as it speaks for itself and it's beautiful! I hope others read it It reminded me of one of my favourite ever songs 'Accept Yourself' by the Smiths and I noticed somewhere that you are a fellow musician so if you've not heard this before (forgive me if you have) just listen to how the music goes into 'stop and reflect for a second' mode after Morrissey comes out with lines like "Every day you might say how do I feel about my shoes" etc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4F_eaa1XIY And yet more often than not I end up feeling like this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7OCTfPXpvY I'm just so TORN!! Middle way here I come!
I've not eaten 'complex' carbs for quite some time now and have never been healthier. But thanks for your concern
I've read it a few times today (often through teary eyes!) and I had come to the conclusion lately that accepting ourselves was indeed the first gate we must past through (when I first heard the Smiths song many years ago it struck a chord deep inside me and has always kind of 'been there' kind of whispering to me like some songs/stories can do) This story really helped me confirm that I really needed to work from the inside out first and foremost. I was always the campaigner type fighting everyone else's battles and usually on behalf of people who just couldn't be arsed themselves! But I was just trying to prove myself because I still hadn't accepted myself. And very little changed, and I got increasingly frustrated, and accepted myself even less! I can laugh now but it's been a tough lesson mate! And yes to serve others you must serve yourself first and yet we are labelled selfish for this! But it's the only way to truly make a difference, either to ourselves or the 'world'. Thanks again for the story mate
I was looking for something on my computer and stumbled upon a document I must have stored some time back that contained something it kind of felt appropriate to add here The Starfish Thrower A boy is walking along the beach when he stumbles across thousands of starfish that have been washed up. He starts to pick them up and throw them back in. A man approaches him and says, “Son, don’t bother. There are too many. You won’t make a difference.” The boy picks up another, throws it back in, and says, “I made a difference to that one.”
(Above was reply to vertigo) Actually its simple carbs I avoid, my mistake. Ive just had brief exchange with Kathleen desmaisons who wrote the fantastic book potatoes not prozac and has done groundbreaking research on sugar sensitivity and addiction etc (and the subject cropped up and for some bizarre reason i remembered this post!) and although its right to avoid simple carbs (in the same way as one would be wise to avoid sucrose/white sugar) apparently I need to ensure I eat more complex carbs than I do. I guess I was wrong to dismiss your comments like that. Apologies
