Cant get over the fear of cold approach

I don't understand the purpose of a lot of your posts. For example even this one. What exactly are you trying to accomplish with this post?

Are you really looking for some tips and advice from others that you plan on implementing?
Do you just want to vent and complain?

The sigh at the beginning and end of the post seems to indicate to me that you are just venting. If so, cool. If you are looking for tips or to have a fruitful exchange of information maybe indicate that clearly and then we can at least share some pointers and try to help in whatever way we can.

If not, and you are just looking to vent and complain, then at least we could ensure to stay away and not get dragged into a negative spiral with you.

 

Sharing it with friends - there are a lot of people who are not on our the same wavelength. In my personal experience, there is no point trying to change them. Either don't talk with them about your cold approaching or find new friends who are actually interested in cold approaching. No point in trying to make cows eat meat. Not saying you should leave them. You should find new people who are interested in the same things as you are.

Approach anxiety - What I'm going to share with you helped me a lot with my approach anxiety. I knew I had to do an X number of approaches a day no matter the place or how I felt. This gave me sooo much anxiety. I procrastinated for days. And finally when I did approach, it went horribly bcz the girl could sense that I was guilty for not approaching the previous days and nervous as hell. I was totally uncalibrated bcz of this. So I gave up this method.

Then something RSD Tyler said resonated with me, which was "the fastest way to get from A to B is step by step". I took one step at a time. I thought about all the difficult things about approaching and tackled them one by one. The first step was to actually find good places to approach girls. Then I just went to those places as the first step. I didn't force anything. Then after going to those places a couple of times, I got bored and it felt natural to talk to someone bcz I was bored. I didn't feel any massive anxiety about it bcz it felt like the natural thing to do.

So then I started talking with random strangers when I was out. While I was doing this, I noticed, some girls I was talking with got attracted to me. Then this naturally lead to keeping that attraction and moving things forward.

This step by step approach has helped me a lot with cold approaching and other things in general. It should be a fun process. Hope this info helps you.

 

What is your current life situation? Are you in school? Are you working a full-time job?

What is your body type? Fitness level?

I am of the opinion that it is mostly logistical factors combined with personal appearance/fitness that gets someone a girlfriend or multiple girlfriends.

If you work 70 hours a week and never have any free time, no matter how attractive you are, you probably won't get a girlfriend. Same if you only spend time playing video games at home.

What is some background information on yourself? If you adjust your daily routine and lifestyle the right way, I think you can get a girlfriend or at least some hookups.

Logistics is a key factor here. So what is your exact life situation currently? And what is your exact day to day routine currently?

 

It's way easier to forget the expectations of impressing a girl and just chat for the sake of connection.

Smile, say hi, and talk about literally whatever is happening in your immediate environment. The weather, that dog, why is the cafe so busy today, when does that bar open. Anything!

She will either give you a polite but short response, or stand around and talk for a bit. If it's the latter, then it might naturally flow for a few minutes. This is when you get to decide whether she's for you or not (as she does for you).

There's plenty of cute women, but 5 minutes of chatting will reveal if she's one you'd actually enjoy time with.

Less pressure on you, less pressure on her. If the chat goes well, there's less pressure to move it forward as well.

Asking for a number is so much easier when you've both chatted and laughed for a good few minutes!

 

Consider the fact that you are approaching just another person, just like you.

Because outside the male genitalia, you are basically the same.