Cant do nofap with girlfriend

Doing Nofap in soft mode, which is just abstaining from Porn, is a recognized practice. And actually, you should ask yourself why do you want to reboot? What drives you?
If your sexual life is good, I personally don't see a reason for a hard mode reboot, but a No-P journey is recommended to avoid problems in the future.

 

People here do nofap primarily to do away with porn, retain semen, and/or cure disorders like PE or PIED. It's a method to rewire the brain which takes time and you are not giving it the required time. If you are fine as is (i.e. with fapping), then I would like to know why you are trying to do nofap in the first place.

If your aim was to have great sex with your gf then you don't really need to do nofap, but if you want to retain your sexual energy and improve yourself, my suggestion would be to focus on foreplay for the time being and totally abstain from sex for at least a month (recommended 90 days). Then see where it goes.

If you start nofap and have sex that very day, it is only logical that you would have high testosterone levels initially and hence resulting in sensitive penis which will lead to PE. It took one month for my hormone levels to stabilize.

But I can assure you this: Once you complete 90 days of nofap, you'll feel the difference.

 

I am glad that I came across this thread. I have a sex partner, and well. We have not had sex since about a month ago or so since we both started school again. I am going to meet up with her soon in about a week or two from now. This is my 3rd day without fapping. I want to have sex with her so bad, but if I do. Will I screw up my brains rewiring mechanism?

Sorry for just jumpin on this train without a passport.

 

If you want to unlearn something, don't do it for a couple of months. But to not do something you're addicted to, you need to avoid the possible triggers. In these forums I have seen people succumbing to chaser effect after having sex (even after a month of nofap has passed). If you feel that having sex is preventing you from pursuing nofap journey and achieving your goals, you should either control that chaser effect or avoid sex. It also depends on your nofap goal(s); it varies from person to person.

 

Actually, real sex with real person is what helps the brain to rewire properly.
Beware of the chaser effect (returning to PMO after sex) and consider talking with her about it. You don't know how sex will be after a week of NoFap. Maybe just the same as before, maybe not.

 

I understand what you both mean. I would like to say that my own personal goal is that to heal my mind, body, and soul if it that makes sense. Anyways, thank you both for your insight. I will keep you updated an how everything goes. Quick input, today is going to be my 3rd day since I last masturbated and reached ejaculation, I can tell that my penis shaft feels less tense, and tired. I hope all goes well, and that this stage in my life gets put behind me. thank you all!

 

My longest streak is 3 days so far
But I can tell you that sex can help you rewire the brain, focus on real sex rather than fantasies and porn can help especially in the early times of nofap. You can count on it to improve yourself first, adopt new good hobbies. I’m still relapsing but oh well I help around the house now I like to meet people now, more confidence feel more energitic and all cos I PMO much less than before.

 

You know what the best is about Nofap?

You can set your own goals!! There are a few goals that you can follow, like no PMO for 90 days (hard mode).
But you are free to make your own goal as long you know why you are doing it.

 

Do not give up my brother. It is a long tough journey that we still have ahead of us, but hey. If people on this community can, and have done it. So can we. Aight??

 

Yeah you are right I’m still doing my best to abstain from porn.

 

My nofap goal was to have a healthy sexual relationship with someone I actually cared about. I considered every time I had sex like a success. Many times I struggled with anxiety and pressure to perform.

But I'm sure I would have stayed stuck if I chose not to have sex and just wait it out.

Having sex for me was always a good opportunity to rewire my brain into a more natural and healthy state. To connect with someone real and show my desire to the other person.

Plus actually having sex made me feel more desire and have more sensation. Before, each interaction would be crowded with thoughts and insecurities that would not help at all in me having a good time.

Nowadays I feel more relaxed and actually enjoying myself each time I have sex with my girlfriend, actually connecting with my body and connecting with hers. It's beautiful.

If you fap thinking about her, I think it's a natural and healthy thing to do. BUT It can also bring you back into porn if you're not careful. Be mindful of that.

 

My recomendation when you have PE or ejaculate too soon is to give her some oral love first untill she pushes you away or clamps her legs so tight you can't reach anymore.

Remember that generaly women last about 15 minutes and guys generaly 2 minutes if you know basic math, this is not going to work out well if you start penetrating right away.

Start with letting her go all the way to orgasm and then let her relive you or if she does not want to then i would recomend leaving her and find someone who actualy loves you back.
Because a handjob is not that hard or discusting in any way.

Anyway don't relax and just let it loose when you feel you are close. ALWAYS try to hold it for as long as you can even when masturbating.
That is because masturbation is like training for the important match you are having later. If you don't give it your all when practicing then you can't expect more when you actualy play a match.

I had sex about 40 days after going no Porn. i was suprised by my sexual endurance. estimated full recovery time for someone my age is 4-6 months.

 

how old r u. if you dont mind me askin

 

You need to go beyond your refractory period, for god sakes. So you ejaculate after 20 seconds? Fine. Commense to round two, and in the meantime, you can get in there and practice the art of cunnilingus and booty tickling for five minutes while waiting for round two to begin. If you go 40 seconds in round two? Fine. Commense to round three after doing that again/playing with the nipples/making out/dry grinding to keep aroused. Guaranteed, there will be a round where you'll go for adequate time. Stop being so selfish, and get in there with purpose. Or you can bet, some other chap may step in for you down the line.

 

I had the same experience as you. My longest streak is 23 day then I had a girlfriend and started having sex with her. We don't do it regularly though. So I take that opportunity to retain my semen. But when the time comes that we have to have sex I could only last for a few minutes or even a few seconds which is pretty embarrassing. So the next time we had sex I decided to use a condom to minimize the sensation and started to look at other things while penetrating her. I Think the condom and looking away helped a lot to last longer. But now I'm trying kegel exercises and breathing exercises to improve my performance in bed.