Relapsed, again. I almost can't even believe it. I thought surely this would be the end of it. I was so sure of myself and what I wanted to achieve. I was motivated, I was done with it, fed up. I thought I had learned by now, thought I finally had enough. I feel such a lack of self-respect. I was just lying in bed at my normal bedtime, tired mentally, and physically from a day of playing basketball. But somehow I just gave in. I knew what I was doing was something I passionately decided not to. The justifying bullshit kicked in, "there's no point in doing this anyway", "you'll fail eventually so just give-in", "you can stop some other day", "your hopeless", "this is the best you'll feel in life". Flashbacks of porn scenes kept popping up in my mind. And just like that, I turned into exactly who I didn't want to be anymore. I thought I knew better and decided enough is enough. I wonder what it's going to take for me to win this battle.
i did lose many breaks just like that.. what i learn is that we can't never sit back and enjoy it, we need to keep working all the time
Look, we've all been there. We've all been in that exact moment, and we all know exactly how you feel. Look at it like this: What else are you gonna do besides carry on? Whether you've relapsed or not, it's in the past and you will keep moving forward in life no matter what. Make sure you keep busy, keep away from triggers, surround yourself with good people you respect and above all, stay positive! Now go and get yourself onto a good long streak!!
write down all such thoughts. They are triggers. If you really want to succeed you will have to get rid of all triggers, even the subconscious ones.