I've been losing my way really badly. I've bypassed my K9(that was too easy) and now I've been watching so much porn. I've been watching female friendly porn and all kinds of sensual softcore and I don't get that disgusting feeling after orgasm. I still do feel regret, because I don't want to be that guy who PMO's. I want to be THE MAN, but when the urge comes I don't have the will to fight. I don't have that eye of the tiger I had before and relapse comes too easy for me. The downward spiral has started too, because that softcore stuff starts to be un-satisfying(not that porn could ever be satisfying in a fuller sense). The stuff I watch is so soft, that I don't get too bad brain-fog and anxiety afterwards, so I don't feel the negative effects enough. The motivation for me was getting rid of the negative side effects, but now I don't have any. I don't want to watch that hardcore stuff, because it's so degrading. I still don't wanna be a softcore masturbator either. I don't wanna be a masturbator at all. I found this song by Justin Timberlake. It's probably one of the rare non-love/sex-songs by him. This song is amazing. It's about a crack addict, who just can't beat his addiction. I relate to that so much through this porn addiction. I feel hopeless and I "can't put down the pipe", which for me is the porn. I recommend, that you listen it, it's really a nice song: [video=youtube;LHuq-a3lKOQ]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHuq-a3lKOQ[/video] "Can anybody out there hear me? Cause I can't seem to hear myself Can anybody out there see me? Cause I can't seem to see myself There's gotta be a heaven somewhere Can you save me from this hell? Can anybody out there feel me? Cause I can't seem to feel myself" It sounds simple, but it describes how I feel perfectly. Nobody understands me, because no one knows how bad the porn addiction is. I feel like I'm in hell, but I have this bittersweet trust, that there is a heaven somewhere, that I can reach, but inside I know that it's too far away for me to reach right now. "Now you gotta understand I was a family man I woulda done anything for my own But I couldn't get a grip on my new found itch So I ended up all alone" I'm having chills right now. I've lost the grip on this and now I'm pretty much all alone. "I remember where I was when I got my first buzz See I thought I was living the life" This is the nature of an addiction. You try something new like porn and think that it's the shit, because it feels so damn good. Then you end up chasing that same buzz and destroying your life in the process. "If I could do it all again, have just one more chance To take all those wrongs and make them right" I would do pretty much anything for a chance to start over without the addiction. In the end of this line, when the choir kicks in, I just fucking loose it. I feel so emotional and almost cry out loud. I know there's a salvation(not in the religious sense), but I don't know where. I just keep losing my way. Can you help me find my way? Where do I find the motivation to kill this addiction? P.S. I'm on a ketogenic diet and I'm really motivated in losing weight and I've lost it plenty(8kg). I also heard, that willpower needs fuel for the brain, which comes from good carbs. Could this low-carb diet be causing my loss of willpower on NoFap? I've been in this relapse cycle ever since I started the diet. Maybe all my willpower goes into resisting all carbs, that I'd like to eat. Any ideas? Sorry for such an incoherent post, but I just had to write out my feelings.
You know better. The softcore is just your brains way of justifying PMO for yourself. It still objectifys women albeit in a less degrading way, but its all the same. You just need some real time. Once you get over that first week hump and have some time you are proud of you'll be able to fight that temptation easier because you won't want to throw away the time you've collected from all the temptation you fought to build the number of days. And the brain heals... A PMO relapse is so similar to a relapse in any other addiction. It pulls your brain right back down to knowing it can trick you into PMOing. You can do it though. You just have to fight one battle at a time. One day at a time. Just don't fap right now. Tell yourself that when the addiction comes. Goodluck man. Your going to get it... Your year of noFap starts today.
Read this... www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?2402-Get-educated-get-tools-and-learn-to-love-withdrawals
@Coolmike87 Thanks, man. You told me everything I already know, but your post helped me to find those answers inside myself. Here starts a year of NoFap Success. I'm not a newbie. I've read that shit over and over again.
Hi notafraid Think about your why. Why are you doing this? Your reset rate indicates something...what? When the why gets strong, the how gets easy. What's your real end game? What does success really, honestly, truthfully look like to you. Don't spout off what you think we want to hear or some dream. What is your real goal here? If it's to control your addiction, you have already lost. By definition, this cannot be controlled. It must be expunged from your life. You must embrace that and fall in love with that idea. You must love erasing your porn addition more that you love the addiction. Think about it Everett
What usually helps me is to ask myself what my goals are and what I want from my life. PMOing makes me go in the opposite direction of almost all my goals and things I want in my life, plus it's a huge waste of time and energy. Another thing that I found essential for staying away from PMO was to monitor my internet use. I found that I would randomly surf the internet when I was bored, and that the habit was setting me up for addiction. I would recommend making a list of things you want to accomplish before going online, and sticking with it. Other things that helped were exercising and hanging out with friends more. Good luck!
Hey NotAfraid ive been there.Just 5 days ago.. but now i found my motivation.Its just your reasons to quit are not big enough to get willpower in you.Like the motivation video "you don't want it bad, you just kinda want it" well i found my path and i want it bad! So what i want you to do is ask yourself this: what are the reasons that you want to quit PMO? How will abstaining from PMO help you in the long term? How would you feel when your grow older and understand that every pleasure you had was virtual?(From that vid = Saying No: What NoFap Means to Me real strong) I also want you to bookmark some motivation pictures / nofap videos and when you feel a strong urge - watch them.
