Hello, So, I`m on one of my first NoFap streaks (4days) and I've been masturbating for the last 10 years (2times+ a day). I need to mention that I actually almost never watch porn but I just have a good fantasy/memory. So when I masturbate, I always think about my past experiences with my (ex) girlfriend(s). Now because I'm on this streak, I can't stop thinking about the sex I had with my ex girlfriend and it gives me a lot of borners. (I do have a very high libido..) Is there a way to stop this, my goal with NoFap is to do it for 90days atleast and then masturbate max 1-2 times a week without using porn ofcourse. I really hope that my libido will lower after NoFap.. but I doubt it since a lot of people are saying that their libido got up..
best way to stop thinking about your ex is finding someone new or find good distractions like reading books, listening to music or finding a new hobby!
Well, I don't want anyone new at this point so that is a no go. But basically, It should just go away? As long as I keep myself occupied? I wish there was some easy way to lower my sex drive..
Exactly, A lot of guys develop a loss of sex drive and experience erectile dysfunction from too much masturbation & porn. Most people do NoFap for the specific reason of raising their libido, so they can perform better with their partner (or future partners).
Yes I try to do cold showers but I'm mostly horny during the day, and when I wake up. (Hard to get out of bed). My sex drive is just way too high, so I guess cold showers won't help for that long.. Maybe yes, it was a weird relationship afterall. But I try to not masturbate anymore, but after masturbating I feel way better. The only downside is that I feel tired for the whole day. The problem is if I don't masturbate for like 5 days (I was shocked that I could do that..), I just can't stop thinking about my past memories and I get really horny.. So if NoFap won't lower my libido then.. well.. I'm fucked I guess. Raising their libido with nofap.. I can understand that if you watch a lot of porn, but this is not my case. I just masturbate a lot without watching porn. The only downside I have from masturbating is that I'm tired 24/7 and that it (maybe, don't know for sure) raises my libido even more. So when I'm around my (ex) girlfriend I was always in the mood for sex. Did you always have a lower sex drive ? And since when did you flatline?
The best way to stop thinking about someone or something is to start thinking about something else. Find a hobby or do something which forces you to be creative. You have to replace your thoughts. Also you need to understand that every time you mastubrate to the thought of your ex you are strengthing the bond to her. As my sex addiction therepaist said “before you masturbate ask yourself ‘is this something I want to bond to?’ because that’s what you’re doing.” As for your high libido you’re going to have to learn self-control and a reboot is a perfect opportunity to do that. You need to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Some people here have pied and a flatline and they’ll envy your high libido. I, having an extremely high libido, do not envy you because I know how much it sucks to have a problem a reboot won’t fix. Knowing this has required me to be resigned to the fact that my satyromania is going to be a beast I will that I’ll have to keep constant vigilance over.
Or it could be because when you ejaculate you’re relaeasing norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, nitric oxide, and prolactin. Just a thought.
Wow, thank you for this post. Too be honest, I really think a lot about psychological stuff etc but I never had the tought that I would strengthen my bond with her. But now since you mention it, I really believe that it actually could. Thank you so much for this insight . I guess self control is indeed key and just let my (next) girlfriend decide when she wants to have sex will do the trick.. I will still continue to true to do a full reboot anyway. Afterwards I hope to max masturbate 1-2 times a week. Can I ask you how bad your sex addiction was/is, and how it did effect your relationship? I don't think that it would be my food, I did a lot of fitness a few years ago and I'm really picky with the food I eat. When I eat the same food and I masturbate, I'm tired and have struggles to keep my eyes open. When I don't masturbate (even for just one day) I have a lot of more energy, and have no struggles at all.. Really weird..
You’re welcome. I used to masturbate to thoughts of my ex as well so I know that - for me - contributed a lot to my inability to let her go. Since I’ve stopped, the memory of her has become less and less intense, so I know it works. It’s just going to take some time. Self control is key. It’s what differentiates is from animals, so it’s not only key it’s the very thing which gives us our human dignity. Protect it and strengthen it. In my own journey I’ve come to accept that masturbation is the complete opposite of self-control. Add that to the fact that I bond with what I masurbate too, which is fantasy, then it’s mentally an unhealthy practice as well. My sex addicted effected my relationships badly because the root of my addiction is my inability to trust others, especially women. I was sexually abused by a woman when I was 11 yrs old so I’ve never really let women get close to me. When I finally did it was to a woman who was a nymphomaniac and who likewise had trust issues. I thought nymphomaniac and a satyromaniac would be a perfect match, but I was wrong. We did love each other though, but we didn’t know how to love each other. There was still a lot of selfishness between us so it ended. It wasn’t a complete waste though. That relationship taught me a lot about myself and it showed me how destructive my sexual addiction was to my life and ability to have a healthy relationship. It also taught me to care about myself. I used to hate myself, but by loving a woman who was like me, who despite her sexual addiction had a lot of good in her, I was able to take that and view it towards myself. I was like her, broken, but still possessing a lot of good qualities and those were the things I needed to appreciate more in my life.
I'm doing my best to get around 7.5 hours a day. Most of the time this works fine but I'm still having struggles to get out of bed. It is really weird, maybe it is just lack of motivation. But I know when I masturbate before I go to bed, or during the day or even when I wake up. I'm really tired for the rest of the day. (After 1 hour +-) Thank you for being so honest, I always had a tough time with break ups, but In some way I really appreciate them because it reveals more about yourself and makes you (hopefully) a happier and better person. But this time, it was different. Because I had no feelings for her anymore, she irritated me way too hard, we both had frustrations. But 2 months after the break up my feelings returned.. probably just because I'm not thinking about the negative things anymore.. but not much to do about that. Except writing it all down and trying to get rid of it in my head. I also have a lot of feelings that I didn't have with any other breakup for like example self-pity and remorse because I didn't treat her better.. just because I know that I did way more for my other ex girlfriends than for her.. And yes, I'm also broken in some way, I just think that every person is broken someway, but this is something that makes you who you are, it makes you a better person in some aspects of life. The mentality that you have, to appreciate the good things of you is really great. Like I said, every person has his own struggles. Focus on the good ones, let them shine. Try your best with your "broken" aspects, but don't let them hold you back in anyway. The best that can happen to anyone is to be 100% happy with him/herself. If you reach that point, you are ready to share it with someone else WITHOUT draining the empty person till nothing remains. By the way, I'm really looking forward how things will work out for you, with your sexual addiction, good qualities and your other qualities.
