What you have is called autogynephilia. You are a heterosexual man, however you're aroused by becoming what you are attracted to. It is a form of erotic target location error.
I don't know if this has been said or not, i didn't read through all the comments. From your post, odds are you aren't gay and these fetishes are not natural to you. There are sooooo many threads about this exact same thing, but I will try to sum it up best I can. As an addict we need more of whatever our drug of choice is. Actual drugs we need more, food we need more, etc. Porn is different the only thing to get a bigger dopamine rush is novelty, or something that shocks us. So that is why you eventually stumbled on to the stuff you stumbled on to. Gave you a huge rush and now you are starting to question yourself. Also, porn makes us believe that the girl is having more pleasure than anyone else, which is pretty far from the truth when you hear about women who quit porn and what they went through. That could be why your brain is trying to convince you to be a woman or cross dress like one. There is one way to find out what your fetishes that are natural to you truly are. You have to give you brain a reset. This takes time and eventually you will start to discover who you naturally are. If you haven't watched Gary Wilson's ted talks video I suggest you do. I will post it on this thread, it will explain the science behind why we keep escalating our porn habits.
