Cams, poppers, sub/dom relationships

Hi, I’m a 29 year old gay man, living with my partner of 6 years. I discovered porn and masturbation fairly young and edging in my teens. Things escalated dramatically when I discovered gooning around 3 years ago.

I began almost exclusively watching gooner themed porn and using cam sites to masturbate with other men. Things progressed to the stage where I made my own twitter and started posting my own content.

I started using poppers last year and things escalated again to the point where I began gooning on camera for multiple different random guys almost every time I was edging. I even ended up in multiple sub/dom relationships with different guys who’d instruct me to record myself doing all kinda degrading stuff.

I’ve tried quitting a handful of times with no success, never lasting more than a few weeks. I feel huge guilt for doing all this behind my partner’s back. I get huge anxiety thinking of all the compromising content I’ve shared with strangers. I’m glad I’ve stumbled across communities like this online for support.