I just made another 30 day streak of no PMO. I think it's been at least six months since I had 30 days in a row with no PMO. I wanted to post a success story and hopefully each additional two weeks to a month I add to the streak I will post a little update. I'm a little hesitant to put myself out there and I don't want to take success for granted though; I've made a lot of long streaks in the past. There's no guarantee I won't relapse on this one like I've done a lot of times in the past. The Good: I feel more motivated than I have been in quite some time. So I'm hoping this streak will be able to develop into at least another really long run, and in best case will finally be the time I leave PMO for good. I'm hesitant to say that because I had that thought a lot of time before, and continue to learn that just having a lot of time on the streak doesn't provide complete insurance against relapse. This is the first time I've been actively involved in a community to fight PMO, which I think is a big help keeping my focus up and my goal in mind. In the past I would grow complacent and be careless with triggers once a few weeks or a month passed, ending in relapse. But going on the site frequently has a way of keeping me in the game. And I have accountability that I try to check in with daily for the first time. This has also been a big help. Where in the past I would have a little slip like looking at some triggering stuff, figure I already made a mistake, relapse is inevitable... having AP makes me fight harder not to let small mistakes turn into full-blown relapse. Things to work on: So I have a month in the bag. Some things I want to keep working on is staying vigilant. Complacency is a big problem for me with PMO. I have stopped trying as hard once I get to 1-2 months or longer in past streaks, thinking it's not something I need to worry about anymore which isn't true. I need to stay motivated and aware I am susceptible to this vice in order to succeed. I also have maybe 2-3 days where I started looking at triggering content, usually sensual photos on youtube or google image. This is not a habit I approve of at all, and in the past it led to relapse many times. I would start looking at it and slowly the urges would build and carry me away into straight PMO. It was almost like I couldn't bring myself to go right to PMO so I would ease into this backdoor which wasn't as jarring to my conscience. Like getting into that trace state would make it easier to finally take the plunge to PMO; a decision I couldn't quite bring myself to make when completely sober-minded. Weird stuff. Conclusion Anyway, I want to get intentional exposure to trigger down to zero ASAP going forward because it will cause a relapse sooner or later. That is my #1 goal. I hope my mind is weaning off cravings for dopamine more and more as the days pass. Just wanted to share a few of my thoughts with you guys. Hope to be back again to update this thread as time goes on. Wish me luck continuing the streak!
