Big dilemna at the gym

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by ChristoX8, Jan 18, 2016.

  1. ChristoX8

    ChristoX8 Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone. I just went to the gym and I have this big dilemna still in my head :

    -To look or not to look at girls in tight clothes at the gym?

    I did look A LOT and do not feel the urge to pmo, at all nor did I wanted to cover them in ...''other bodily fluids'' but the behavior of looking at their assets was compulsive. I just couldn't take my eyes off their butts, their cleavage and I did not like that. I loved their assets LOLL but not the behavior. It reminded me of how I felt when looking at porn and this is where it gets cloudy in my head. By doing NoFap, one of my goal is to re-focus my interest from pixels on a screen to real life girls. But I also want to stop considering them as sex objects ...which is pretty much what I did tonight. I saw some people writing on other forums, to use all that sexual energy to get better gains at the gym but if I do that, keep looking at girls just for their assets, won't it just undo all NoFap benefits? I feel the reboot require, I stop such behaviors as well, to be successful. Right? Wrong? Thoughts?

    Thanks in advance!!
     
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  2. Crispy21

    Crispy21 Fapstronaut

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    Eh i say look away look all you want man. As long as you dont get urges to MO. Or go home and PMO. Girls in the gym are what we should want other than fake internet girls so in my book id love to watch a real woman and get that dopamine hit other than a girl on a screen
     
  3. Ikindaknew

    Ikindaknew Fapstronaut

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    Well,
    Interesting...I work out at the gym. I have a shiny/spandex/yoga pants fetish. There is plenty of that at the gym. I just try to look away, minimize those thoughts, because I might crave looking at P later. Also, I 'm married, so I'm trying to keep all my thoughts for my loved one. If I was single, I don't know what I would do. But fantasizing on these girls could definitely lead to MO....
     
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  4. One word: Right.
     
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  5. P__phonic

    P__phonic Fapstronaut

    Don't stare, keep your eyes where they belong. It's the gentlemanly thing to do. ;)
    That's the way to improve your life.
     
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  6. Ser_G

    Ser_G Fapstronaut

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    Was about to say...;) Girls have eyes too. And those eyes can see where your eyes are going. My friends wife goes to a coed gym, she always is checking mirrors for which guys are creeping her. Don't be one of those guys. Be a man.
     
  7. volt2187

    volt2187 Guest

    I feel you. When I first started going to the gym a couple of years ago that was me. I have an interesting story I won't go into because it's triggering, but let me just say I almost hurt myself because I was staring while lifting, haha.

    This is the perfect environment for you to practice your willpower to fight the urges. Do you want to be a creep who stares at these random girls or do you eventually want to be a level-headed man who doesn't use them for your own pleasure? I'm sure a few dress the way they do for attention, but most if not all of them dress that way because, shocker, they're working out. Another example of us using females for our own pleasure.
     
  8. ChristoX8

    ChristoX8 Fapstronaut

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    Oh my... thank you everyone, for all the answers! You know, I'm a man of challenge and I almost never refuse one. I realise, this will probably be one of the hardest challenge I ever faced ...but challenge accepted. Starting tomorrow, I shall no more stare at girls in tight clothes at the gym or anywhere else. :cool: I'm a proud man and you guys, just hit me right in the pride! lol (in a right way) Do I want to be a creep or a level-headed man who doesn't use girls for my own pleasure? The answer is obvious, I want to be a man! It's the right thing to do, judging from all your comments pointing in that direction XD and deep down inside, I knew it too. It's kind of hard to put into words but I think, as long as I'll just look at girl's assets, I'll produce dopamine as if I was watching pornography, my dopamine receptors will be satisfied with just that and won't push me to do more to get girls but I want more. I want real relationships, I want real sex, I want to be a real man and if I stop staring, completly, after a few weeks/months of truly complete abstinence, my brain will have no choice but to change back to it's state before I got addicted to porn/dopamine! Then I'll be able to have real relationships, real all I want and the reboot will have been successful. You guys are so right, it's obvious.

    Thanks again for all the support! :)
     
  9. Woohoo! :) You're on the right track, man. Sounds like you already knew what was right, but a part of you was hoping to be talked out of it. lol we've all been there! Good on ya for embracing the challenge. The best things in life are often the things that take the most work to attain.
     
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  10. ChristoX8

    ChristoX8 Fapstronaut

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    Yes, a part of me wanted to keep staring at those incredible a**es :p LOLL but thanks man! It will pay off in the long term and indeed. :) It took me a while to be able to buy this new 43 inches HDTV I bought last month at Christmas and I appreciate it even more because I worked very hard to afford it. The biggest TV I ever had before that was 21 inches and wasn't HD so you'll imagine it changes everything! I also bought a huge computer desk so I feel like I'm in the Enterprise, with it's giant monitors and futuristic technologies! XDD
     
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  11. Haha that's great! I remember finally getting a nice TV and a nice couch. Big accomplishments :)

    And yes, that is some good honesty right there. lol we have all been there, myself included. Just ask yourself... what would Captain Kirk do? ;) (or you know... some other Star Trek reference. haha)
     
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  12. Digg217

    Digg217 Fapstronaut

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    Say hi, what are you working on today, introduce yourself! To me, you might as well be staring at them when you're trying to avoid staring at them, if you truly want to humanize these sexy gym babes, go up and say hello. She'll rapidly stop being a freshly mound a grabby bits, and suddenly be a human, with a personality, who knows, she prolly even picks her nose when no one is around. Just say hi, it doesn't even have to go anywhere.
     
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  13. Ikindaknew

    Ikindaknew Fapstronaut

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    I agree with you Digg "on the principle". Although engaging the girl in a conversations is quite a big step FOR SOME. The first being stopping to be a set of pervert eyes. You are right that talking to them humanizes them. But there is many creeps and doucheBs that attempt to touch base/flirt with them. So I say slowly but surely, better than creepy or awkward. Sharing a smile only for a few weeks before engaging....would go a long way telling the girl you are more than a set of eyeballs.

    Everybodys goal is to go for real sex. This is what people going out to the bar/Dance club are looking for. We have to sanitize our thoughts, so we don't think these girls are all willing to chat and are sexually willing. I'm sure some of them want to do their stuff an leave. So a good balance is needed. Reducing one's expectations is important.

    I remember myself having the warped perception that every nicely/sexy dressed lady were "meaning business", must have a healthy sex drive, etc...
     
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2016
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  14. nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

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    Actually one of the things I like about the gym and the same goes for many of the guys I know is looking at the girls. There is nothing sexier than a great body in those crazy tight, reveling outfits that the women wear to the gym today. It would be impossible not to look, and those outfits are designed to show off maximum body parts. Some of the outfits can even make a not so great body look good. I think they are designed this way to make the women feel sexy. Let's face it, they could get the same workout benefits with baggy clothes on.
    Here's the point, you can look briefly, but staring is a definite no-no. Nothing creeps a woman out more then a desperate, pervert staring at her body parts. (I'm not saying you are desperate or a pervert, but that's how a woman will label any guy who stares at her.) An appropriate look is quick in duration, you should be making eye-contact, and smile. Usually I give a quick head nod and mouth the word, "Hi." Making eye-contact is key, don't be staring at her body parts.
    FYI - I also greet most people around me in the same fashion, both male and female, inside and outside the gym. I'm practicing social skills, and greeting a stranger with a friendly smile makes me feel good and almost always I'm greeted with a smile back from that stranger.
     
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  15. ChristoX8

    ChristoX8 Fapstronaut

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    Yes, it feels amazing to accomplish things you've wanted for so long. :)

    Lol, thanks! They would not masturbate, that's for sure. ;) haha
     
  16. ChristoX8

    ChristoX8 Fapstronaut

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    Oh god, your post is making me sweat! XD But yeah, I get what you mean. Those are good ideas. I've been staring at girls for over a decade ^^', as far as high school. I was such a creep, not really listening to what the teachers were saying but rather, looking at girls sitting in front of me. Often, you could see their panties coming out of their pants and I could never look away... :p It ashames to admit it and I feel like a complete loser when I still do this at the gym so thank you for your great ideas. I'll put them into practise tonight at the gym and god, this will be tough but I'm ready!! :cool:
     
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  17. I have faced this problem as well,when I am in the gym or out in public.It will take some time to get used to but do not look at them as mere sex objects instead ask yourself,So what if she has a nice ass?Or so what if she has a nice body?There lots of women out there who are very sexy.They are just that.They are just women,they fart,they smell,they are not perfect.I think part of the problem is that we as men,face a war out there. Society in general is so over-sexualized 24/7 we get subconscious images of sex thrown in our faces.That's we are so charged up,that whenever we look at women who dressed in sexy clothing we automatically think sex.

    Finally I would like to add that our body has a mind of it's own whether some like to admit it or not.Whenever we see these girls at the gym our bodies want to pro-create with them.Some of us get erections,we feel lust,we feel that drive.One thing that helps me is do I want that woman to be my wife or do I just want to fuck.If the answer is yes I want her to be my wife,I go and talk to her and if the other answer is I just to have sex,I look away and focus on my workout.

    I hope this helps!!!
     
  18. One quick note I have to combat... Those kinds of outfits aren't necessarily designed to draw attention to certain body parts and women definitely do not all wear those things because they except, or want, your eye to be drawn there. Personally, I wear yoga pants every day, for work, and I definitely don't wear them because I think they're sexy and make me feel good about my body. I wear them because they're comfortable, cheap, they breathe well, they allow me a lot of flexibility, and probably other reasons I can't think of right now.

    Anywhoozle, not a super big deal, but I think it's worth the reminder to not assume that women who wear something you find attractive are doing so for the purpose of catching your eye. While I believe we should all be modest and help each other out as much as possible, it's still ultimately up to you to chose the right path.
     
  19. terminator1

    terminator1 Fapstronaut

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    Prune temptation at the root. Do not let it grow and fester. Those explicit thoughts you have of the women at the gym did not exit your mind the moment you leave the gym. They stick with you and can lead you back into PMO.

    It is not wrong to notice their beauty but dwelling on it can you lead you down a path you we all know too well.

    It is a discipline to control your thoughts and emotions. A discipline that will pay off for you and you will delight one day that you had gone through the painful process to acquire it.
     
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2016
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  20. GustavoCR

    GustavoCR Fapstronaut

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    Go and talk to one of them, just have a small conversation, that will help, believe me. That's my friend is getting out of the comfort zone. That will help you to start looking the girl as a human being, its not necessary to talk to her in a "conquest mode", just talk normal about something and the next time you see her you can say hello to her.
     
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