Big Changes in 2024

Posted my thread in the wrong section, so moving it over to here...

From day 1:

I'm really unhappy with the life I've been living the past few years. I'm in my mid twenties, living at home, working at a job that I don't like and has nothing to do with what I studied at school. No social life, no dating life, and pretty severe porn addiction. A bit overweight.

I went into 2024 looking to change quite a bit. I'm off to a good start. Lost weight, making moves professionally, socializing again (which was hard!), etc.

By far the biggest change is in my dating life. Somehow, and I really don't know how I pulled this off, but I ended up at a female friend's house who I've known for a long time the other day. We've talked on and off but were always just friends. I put myself out there and she accepted.

Long story short we end up in bed, and she takes off all of her clothes. I have to stop her from going too far because I know I won't be able to get it up. We made out for a long time and nothing happened to me down there. It wouldn't have with anyone, she is gorgeous and I'm really attracted to her.

I sort of panicked when I got home and did some tests to see how bad my ED was and to see if it really is porn that causes it. I think it is. My brain just doesn't associate kissing and having a beautiful girl naked in front of me with sex anymore.

I have not had morning wood in a long time and the only way that I can get hard is with physical stimulation, which is the bad news. The good news is that if I'm watching the right kind of porn and have physical stimulation I really don't have any issues, although I lose it pretty much as soon as I let go.

Tips on what to do here and what to expect, especially in terms of timelines from quitting porn, are appreciated. I really want to make it happen with this girl and I'm going to be so pissed if I can't.

 

From Day 14:

Really excited to write this update.

Day 14 no PMO. Short backstory: former heavy porn user. Started seeing a girl two weeks ago. Nothing going on down there when we were kissing. I was shocked and scared. It was the most powerful motivation to quit porn ever.

Anyway, I was really shocked by how fast I made progress. I started feeling benefits early into the process, and haven't experienced anything that I could call a flatline yet.

I am very happy to say that we had sex. I got hard and stayed hard without issue. I didn't finish and I don't think I would have even if I had two hours lol, but that's okay. For day 14 I'm really damn proud. I'm sure with more time I'll be finishing without issue.

I think that seeing this girl multiple times a week where we make out for extended periods of time has helped me speed this whole thing up. I didn't just quit porn, I replaced it with her. I think my brain caught on.

 

From Day 16:

What are your thoughts on using occasional masturbation without porn to help rewire the brain? I jerked off the other day to the thought of my girlfriend. It helped take the edge off—I had been having some severe cravings for porn. I still feel pretty good and because it was intentional, I'm not counting that as a relapse. I think it could be bad if done too frequently, but once in 15 days is not something that I'm going to complain about.

Curious to see what you guys think about potential impacts that would have on rewiring the brain to help fix PIED.

 

About to hit day 19. Feeling frustrated.

I had sex again yesterday, still not able to orgasm. I hate it. Porn literally feels better and I hate that. My frustration with how much my brain has adjusted to seeing porn as sex has been pushing me closer towards relapsing, but I haven't.

I know it hasn't been that long but I am annoyed with so much today.

 

I relapsed, sort of, today, mostly out of frustration. I didn't actually do anything while watching porn, but I spent a significant amount of time looking at it. Like, a lot of time today.

I think that I'm mentally in a better spot than I was when I first started, but I have to reset my counter and call a spade a spade. I am proud to say I made it 18 days—I had never made it anywhere near that long in previous, less serious attempts.

18 days is the target to beat now.

 

Kind of growing frustrated. My initial motivation to quit porn altogether was so I could have great sex with my partner. My first attempt I made it 18 full days, which was long enough to be able to start having sex again. but I couldn't finish any time I tried, and it was just... not nearly as hot as porn.

I know how ridiculous that sounds. But it's been really difficult for me since then because it feels like I'm trying to replace porn with something that isn't nearly as hot. My relapses lately were intense; sex has not been.

Some motivation would be appreciated