I decided to quit PMO many times. After 1-2 days, I'll definitely have one nightfall or wet dreams. After I started to read and understand God, now it's days2 end. I didn't have any nightfall or wet dreams anymore. It's like something is guarding me. I'm blessed!
I wish reading the bible or praying to God would take away or reduce urges. Whenever I pray to God to help me it works for a day or two and then it always leads to a terrible relapse that seems like it was preplanned by the universe. I always feel deja vu when I relapse like I was meant to relapse. On the other hand when I believe in nothing I go a lot longer in NoFap but it always seems like forces outside of my control lead me to relapse due to the circumstances being literally unbearable. I’m probably the most alone person on this planet when God or anyone else doesn’t care if I’m alive, dead, sick, depressed etc. I’ll probably get one of those “God loves and cares about you” responses but if that were true I’d be out of this dark tunnel of addiction 3 years ago. I’m chosen and born to suffer while everyone else gets the easy way out in life.
God is much more intelligent than any of us. He knows what He is doing. What you have to do is to trust Him if you already gave your life to Jesus. He has a plan to get you out of there. I’m not out of the wood yet, I relapsed countless time, always asking for forgiveness and sometime crying asking God to help me. And here I am, my best streak without porn. These past days I’ve learned many things that don’t make me want to go back to porn. The thing is, I got quite sick in the process. I pray everyday that God heals me physically. But the truth is, even if I’m suffering, I never spent that much time reading the Bible and praying in my life.
I hope you get well having a problem with your heart is a serious problem. Let’s hope the both of us beat this addiction. On your profile it says you joined NoFap on my birthday. I think this isn’t a coincidence maybe God really has a plan