Being pretty - a power thing?

Interested to hear my fellow girls' thoughts on this @Tesslynne @HopefulChristian you're the most active I see on here. Maybe you personally won't relate, but just interested in your perspectives.

I read on here about these guys' torturous experiences seeing pretty girls around and I know they have something inside that they need to work through, but I was wondering about us ladies..do we try to be pretty in a bid for more power? Some might say we are trying to attract someone to be with, but really, when I'm going to the supermarket, I'm not thinking "I want to look pretty because I might meet the love of my life". I'm thinking "I want to look pretty so people think I'm pretty". It's like asserting my rank or something. Idk.

Is it because movies often have a cast of mostly males and one gorgeous girl? Maybe we feel our worth is determined by our looks or ability to attract. Sometimes I wonder whether I put on makeup solely to be desirable but unreachable. That doesn't seem very nice.

Or maybe seeking beauty isn't a bad thing - human beings are drawn to beauty in nature and art and trying to be beautiful is like trying to make yourself a piece of art??

Pretty ponderings..

 

We were made to appreciate what is beautiful and beauty itself is a good thing. A beautiful piece of art though does not boast that it's beautiful. It simply presents itself as it is and the appreciation of its beauty always leads to admiration of the artist who created it. This is why us being beautiful is not a bad thing but attributing this beauty as being our own work is vanity since you did not create yourself.

For those who are believers we return the appreciation to God our creator.

In my opinion an excessive desire to be desired is a symptom of egotism.

 

Being humble about anything in life will always have more power & grant you more blessings than being arrogant,over-confident,or egotistical ever will . God is love, always remember that ...

 

That's what I often wonder and think that women do. They put on makeup and dress in a certain way to show that they're beautiful and I'm not and as you perfectly put it, desirable yet unreachable. Maybe it is a power thing bc in my school, a guy sees an attractive teacher, he wants to do anything for her, at least when they were younger. TBH, I used to hate women for doing that and I would think some very misogynistic thoughts and because of it, I would tell myself you're so beautiful and I can't get you and you're teasing me and it's unfair but I've grown up and thankfully moved away from that line of thinking where now, I'm not angry or jealous bc I can't get a beautiful woman. I admire her beauty and I move on.

 

I completely agree, along with insecurity I believe. Needs validation everyday from guys that they're beautiful.

 

What I struggle with - a HELL of a lot - is that I feel like society's message is guys have different ways to attract women -- e.g. Humour, money, confidence etc -- & for us the message HAMMERED into us is "be young and beautiful"

And yet we are ALSO told beauty fades.

And I AINT young & while I'd say I'm pretty & some guys HAVE called me beautiful I CERTAINLY DON'T look like a porno star or movie star. So sometimes I have insecurities around my looks & am I good enough for the kind of guys I like - or even the guy I like at the moment.

I'm smart, educated, kind & witty. I'm a good listener, friendly, bubbly & yes pretty. Even though I do tend to put myself down at times & think I'm average or worse!

But it's like are those things ENOUGH?

It's crazy to even feel like that when I HAVE had attractive SOs before.

But that message is just SO strong sometimes it drowns everything else out.

And when guys imply EVERY woman can click her fingers & get any guy she likes then I also find myself thinking my god I must be ugly then cos I CAN'T do THAT.

But maybe I just need to drown that voice OUT. Cos nobody else can FOR me. And should I get another boyfriend, it's not HIS job to, it's MINE.

 

Yeah I've grown up now and I realize the same thing.

 

Exactly! What matters is that you love yourself and see your own worth! Search for your own approval and you'll be free of other people's bullshit.

 

I think we also have to consider that beauty comes with its downside as well. I have a friend whose very physically attractive and she has to put up with a lot of unwanted advances and sexual harassment from both sexes and from all types of people. Our hyper-sexualized culture has her constantly being objectified while doing even the most mundane of activities like walking down the street. She's had to put up with vulgar comments about "how good" so and so would "fuck her" as if that's all she's good for. She can't even just be caring towards someone without them interpreting her actions as proof she wants to "fuck them." Then on top of that she has to put up with the people who are jealous and down play her experiences because they think everything gets handed to her because she's attractive. If they even understood that sometimes she's too afraid to even go out of her home because of these experiences.

 

One of our basic human instincts is to feel love and to receive love. We are social creatures and acceptance of society is crucial in making us happy, even if we are not consciously aware of it. People like me, (advertising, movies, social media, beauty products, commercials) all capitalize on this because we know the power that lies behind everyone wanting to be accepted and loved. You're not looking for power, you're not looking for love, you're not looking for happiness. You're looking to fit in and being accepted. Being pretty, or attractive is one way to become accepted by those around you and often the easiest. The reason you do these things is go with what is accepted within society. And right now, being attractive as possible, especially in our modern age is "key" (an imagined key) to being "happy".

The next time you doll yourself up, ask yourself, who are you doing this for? Chances are it's for yourself.

Also, buy more beauty products, my rent is coming up.
~Don Draper

 

Except that's not her life. She's a struggling single mom making shit money. Probably because she won't play the bang game.

At the end of the day the lesson is don't be envious of anyone else. Where you struggle they don't and where they struggle you don't. Our crosses aren't easier or harder. They are perfectly fashioned on an individual level.