Because it's a waste of time ...

Hi guys,

I'm 31 and have been watching loads of porn since I got internet about 16 years ago. My first memories of getting excited goes back to when I was about 8 or so - can't believe it, but I got frisky from looking at those super-low-resolution cheaply printed female subjects on phone sex ads (the ones often found somewhere in regular local news paper) - I guess I got somewhat desensitized with time

Yeah, well and from there it goes ... day in day out ... from a few minutes to several hours. Wow ...

I would consider it an addiction to some extent - but not so much for the porn but for the excitement. That distinction might be hairsplitting - but I was always impressed how I went from watching porn all day long to no porn at all for one or two weeks during vacation or travelling for example - even no big problem to not masterbate. But whatever term or label one might choose the habit was (and is) stupid on multiple levels - I do know that - and I do fail to act accordingly.

I once stopped for, I think, almost half a year - as always after making biiiig changes and going beyond the first few weeks - life is not going to super charge just b/c of that. But if it's just for the sake for the precious time I waste. Anyway - you probably know the mechanism - at some point I started with those (back then actually mostly) "funny" clips on shooshtime - and well - oh, look boobs, etc - and slowly went back to watching porn.

I'm not a religuous guy - I never felt morally bad for watching porn or jerking off - in relationships I've always been open about watching porn and slapping the pope - I consider(ed) watching porn as something like a little candy you treat yourself with every now and then - and I do think that's fine.

Now if I'm so easy going about it - what's my problem then? Well, I do have had issues with ED and still have. Those mostly occur when foreplay is very short (quickie) or during the first time. I'm in a habit of just popping quarter a V and that's about it. Don't like that dependence but given the frequency of doing V (on average no more than once a month) and the low cost (about 4 Euro for a quarter pill) I don't mind.

I'd consider the time aspect though the most worrying part. I live in a pretty active relationship which I think is not too much suffering from my habit - as far as I can tell the porn time is taken from my sleep - so it's me who is directly affected - yet, collateral social damage might naturally result from sleep deprivation.

Another reason why I grow to dislike porn is b/c I am kinda growing up ... the illusion of a hyper-sexed life is not going to be viable the older I get. I'm the kind of guy who can approach a girl in a shop and seduce from there - this is why this "idea" was always appealing to me. Trying to get more smooth an eventually fucking around all over the place while nurturing this rather immature conception with porn consumption. But even though I'm still pretty fit and do meet women much younger than me - nonetheless, this is going to come to an end sooner or later - I'm neither rich, nor powerful, nor super-handsome - so it will get harder to meet new girls and I want to get into a position where this is a nice option and not something I mentally depend on - porn is certainly fucking with my expectations here.

But time, time, time - this precious resource wasted like as if its growing back. Then again, I already know - even though I actually am even during my leisure time quite productive - I do tend to get into idle loops - being bored - and progressing from knowledge porn, over entertainment porn to news porn - ping-ponging from site to site - eventually ending up on the naked females porn where I might get stuck for anything from half an hour to three hours.

Also I think that this impotent handling of time - being confronted with boredom - is hinting at deeper issues which I should work on instead of hiding from them by distracting myself with fuck pix.

I don't think porn is bad, I even less think masturbating is bad - but as with anything, the dosage makes the poison - and I *am* destructively affected by that stuff. So I want to deal with it finally. And I think NoFap is a great place to reflect on the journey.

Cheers

 

Yes, Yes, Yes
Very funny you mention that. Actually I thought about including this detail. You often hear about how watching porn causes your desires to become more extreme in terms of girls getting younger or sex more brutal. I never experienced that. Instead I would be obsessed about faces and facial expressions - trying to find the perfect clip and then the next ...
Also - being an IT guy with a thing for puzzles - I found it very interesting to search in foreign languages like russian - utilizing special Google keywords and URL manipulation to expand my porn universe even more. What a waste of mental energy ...

 

well, I suppose we both finally came to the conclusion that there are worthier things to chase than a specific clip

Now it's time to act upon it (y)