Back to Nofap

Guys, I am back. After I have successfully completed more than 500days abstinence from July 2021 to May 2023, I had great achievements in the following 2023. I believe it was a combination of persistence and hard work. I successfully have passed all my exams and have become licensed in my field. I have finally ended a one-sided relationship and back to dating scenes. In addition, I have stared taking care of my body better. I became lean and did my first marathon in 2023. I believe being nofap laid the discipline and foundations for all these. And when they pay off, they are big.

However, things also started to loosen as life gets better. I started masturbation again in May 2023. I woke in the morning and had an urge, without enough mindfulness, I touched myself again. After that, I would masturbate once a month. It was not until December 2023 that things got a bit more complicated, as I started watching gay porn before I masturbate. To me, it raised a red flag, as I would rather just have sex with my date than watching porn and jerk off. However, it got a bit out of control. I repeated porn and fap combo multiple times afterwards. I feel like it could get worse and I need to direct this energy back to things that are productive.

To sum, I am not feeling guilty for what happened. However, there is certainly some regret. My increased libido certainly relates to better nutrition and sleep. I maintained calorie deficit intentionally to get my libido in control in most of 2022. However, since I started running and taking care of my body, this is no longer working. Second, backing to date and meeting people is raising my desire for sure. In addition, I guess I got loosened up from complacency as well. After I have achieved many things in 2023 and I finally felt that I could take a break and have some casual fun again. Even though I am fully aware that it could derail many things that I am currently working on. To list a few, to be promoted, to settle in a long term relationship, to gain 15 lbs muscle and to run another marathon in November 2024. So I am back. I want to finish my personal projects with all of you, simply because I benefited from a disciplined life and can’t give up when I just started.

 

I am bisexual. So it’s not like I crossed the line to watch gay porn. However, it did raise the red flag for me.