back in the muck

Pump the brakes Som. The downward spiral is always a temptation after the first fall, but it's not inevitable.

I've gone through my relapses and i crie evry tiem. I know that it can feel like a free fall down a cliff and youre sort of trying to grab at some weak roots and branches, but it's not. It's more like a shallow hole we dig; some only look down and see their position as dark and hopeless, some can stop digging, look up and climb out, others need a friend to give them a hand.

It's not hopeless to stop. Every time you come to a halt and decide to start climbing out makes you stronger to deal with the next relapse, and the next and maybe multiple relapses over several years. I think it's taken me about 4 years for my will to catch up with my desire; to know that I should quit and to Want to quit - to truly reject PMO and not be in two minds about it.
If your conscience is divided about porn, as long as you keep posting here and keep the desire to quit alive, one day things will click into place. And if uni is stressful and insular, that will end too and you'll start to see the broad horizon of life, to identify the dangers more clearly, to know yourself more deeply and to follow the things that build you up, rather than tear you down.

Just keep hope alive!

 

I've had the same feelings myself at uni. But it's always massively disproportionate to the actual problem.

You can't give up while there's time on the clock.

I also learned to trust an unconscious grasp that I had over my subjects - I guarantee you know a lot more than you think you know. And your body knows how long it needs to get it all down.
If time is really sensitive just trust your gut and start writing. You'll probably see something half decent start tumbling out.

And if the laptop is too distracting, grab a pencil and notepad, go somewhere quiet with your notes and start writing. There's something about a pencil on paper that works for me. Just trust the flow.

It's a matter of getting your engine started, and yanking that chord can take most of semester until it gets going!

But whatever happens m8, the sky won't fall in. You'll always have options on the table which produce an unexpected and better opportunity.

 

I relapsed on the first day. Absolute truth. With the weed and all, you stacked the cards against yourself, but you know that. In the Marine's we would always talk about being a bad quitter. You messed up, don't quit, back at it again.