Today would have been 21 days since my life made a turn around. I have been without PMO and found weeks 1-2 straight forward. In the last week i have found myself " edging" at least twice. Not deliberate just through habit and stopped when i "came too". Today i am alone in the house, my wife is at work and i'm on a different shift pattern. Today I PMO. I feel gutted. I cant tell my wife as we are still working through the pain all this has/is causing. I will not be beaten by these desires. 20 days is a new record for me and this is only the first time i have made a conscious effort to stop with all the PMO. There had been a sense of joy and determination in my mind which i hope hasn't been diminished. How do i come back from this? Do i tell my wife? I never expected to get through this without a relapse, is this the right mindset to have? I do understand the strength of the cravings these habits have caused in my head. I did recognize the trigger times and make allowances but just ignored then. Tommorrow is a new day and i will be stronger.
I think you should share this with your wife. She is hurt because you kept it a secret in the past. Start a new pattern and show her you want to be open and honest and show her a new pattern. She sounds like she is willing to go through this with you. Don't leave her in the dark. This is all coming from experience. Analyze those feeling you had and share them with her. She will appreciate it. Stay strong!
I'm in the same boat. I haven't told my BF about my Tinder/Instagram addiction either. I would suggest telling your wife. But that would be a little hypocritical on my part... I think honesty is a building block of any relationship, whether it's a member of your family or your spouse. Being able to communicate openly about every dark, deep secret is what separates the average, run-of-the-mill relationship from the truly special ones. Either way, I know you'll make the right choice!
