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Anyone REALLY tracking what led up to the reset/relapse?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Awedouble, Jul 2, 2019.

  1. Jul 2, 2019 #1
    Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

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    Is anyone actually analyzing their pattern of relapse/reset in any detail? Like actually look back each time, take each journal entry beyond "it happened again" and look at them side by side and look at WHAT happened. Look for patterns, cyclic repetitions. If you can identify that you can start looking at how to avoid the initial causes. I won't say triggers because that's not necessarily the beginning of the pattern, if we're thorough I think it's going to zoom out far more than that. Trigger-relapse is a two step simplistic view, this is a matter of getting more of a big picture on it even if it isn't your entire recovery trajectory.

    I feel like most people will say nothing and ignore this, or just don't try to do it, but it needs to be pointed out if you're really in it and want to know how to break free. Banking on a streak, which is linear instead of circular ignores the fact that most things repeat - certainly addiction.
     
    Awedouble, Jul 2, 2019
    Awedouble, Jul 2, 2019
    #1
  2. Jul 2, 2019 #2
    Ajar

    Ajar Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

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    When I drink tons of coffee, I notice my emotions get really heavy really fast. When I mean heavy i mean depression. Initially(first 1-2 hours), I'm fine. But the after effect just kills me.I get crabby, and more agitated easier. I could feel all my anger and emotions being antagonized underneath.
     
    Ajar, Jul 2, 2019
    Ajar, Jul 2, 2019
    #2
    Awedouble likes this.
  3. Jul 3, 2019 #3
    properWood

    properWood Fapstronaut

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    Feelings of rejection, humiliation, shame and anxiety that are beyond tolerable.

    I noticed that when I got to the old job, I immediately fall prey to rejection/jealousy from a colleague/former friend, the boredom from the office takes me to humiliation and shame and finally I have the low-level, constant anxiety. I get home dead tired, without working. After a few such days, the feelings become intolerable, thus I can't sleep/insomnia, resort to alcohol and ultimately to PMO to get a respite. The trigger for PMO is definitely alcohol, because it cuts-out the pre-frontal cortex and releases the unconscious in an incontrollable manner.

    I was off-work for one month, during which I was able to cool down and not PMO. I went back to work for 3 weeks; after the first week at work I relapsed. I couldn't hold myself for the following two weeks. I then went out of work for 2.5 weeks (still in the time frame) and after the first 2 days off I was basically back to no PMO without a problem.

    It's definitely an environmental issue linked to the emotions.
     
    properWood, Jul 3, 2019
    properWood, Jul 3, 2019
    #3

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