Anyone know how to be happy?

“Replace pleasure with work.”

Maybe that doesn’t sound like much fun, but what is meant by “work “ is working on yourself. This can be done even when we are enjoying a meal or some music.
How many hundreds and thousands of hours have we spent on “pleasure “ through pmo, just to end up feeling miserable. It’s a joke.

 

If you're trying to be more happy, it may be useful to first look at what exactly happiness is. From what I've experienced and learned, to put it simply, happiness is a state in which you feel pleasant physically, mentally and emotionally. But it is a chemical state, that is, it is rooted in your body's chemistry. This is why ingesting certain chemicals say drugs or alcohol or psychiatric medication, can affect how we feel in that moment - it changes the body's chemistry. Of course those things also destroy the body in numerous ways so the real trick is to find ways to create that chemistry of happiness in a healthy and sustainable way.

I'll share the things that have worked for me in a dramatic way -
1. Yoga - highly potent if learned from the right source and done properly
2. Running, swimming, biking, sports - anything that exerts you and pushes you, physically and mentally
3. Learning - learn a new skill, to code, some new language, to cook, anything really that pushes you to grow beyond your comfort zone
4. Service - volunteer in whatever way you can, doing things that have nothing to do with you
5. Community - getting that sense of belonging, through family, friends, recovery groups, etc.

And most importantly, to commit to TAKE ACTION TODAY, no matter how big or small, and then doing so consistently. In my experience, happiness doesn't happen to you but has to be established from within by doing the right things. Hope some of this helps! All the best bro!

 

I don't think anybody's really happy right now. Certainly not on this site - there's a reason we're here. I don't even know any truly happy people. Do you? Has anyone ever really been happy for more than a few days?

 

You cant be happy all the time.

 

Happiness is fleeting and by its very nature transient. What you need to work on instead is the ability to be content with your current situation while still keeping an eye on self improvement and actualization. Unironically look into stoicism. Adopting stoic principles can help you focus on what you can control and live with what you cannot. Once you change your mindset changing your life is easier. You will find it a lot harder to succeed if you are stuck with a bad way of looking at the world.

 

I remember what Bane said in Batman. "Victory has defeated you". Thats how i see " happiness". Then again i am not a normie and don't live in their normie dystopia.

 

I believe that there are two (main) things that create can create hapiness, or more important actually, fullfillment: gratitude and flow.
Being grateful for the things in your life and realizing the things you have been given and been blessed with, I believe is a key to hapiness. Although cultivating a sense of gratitude is easier said than done, I do believe it is something anyone can work towards. Second, is flow (state). Being completely engaged in an activity and that moment being all that exists.

 

I hope things get better.

Happiness is related to having resources, nice relationships, feeling part of a community... but to avoid depression and anxiety while you are searching for those and building your life it's important that you have pleasure moments (exercise is the only medicine that worked for my anxiety crisis. I ride a bike but it could be any other) and don't isolate yourself. There are other people going through similar things as you are right now, which means you are not failing, it's a social problem.

Good luck and take care of yourself.

 

Defenitely a point, but sometimes self improvement itself can lead to frustration and unhappines whilst it seem an unreachable path of perfection. Nofap is surely the right path for achieve a clear mental state but dont pick up to many ted talks or some youtube gurus advices like infinite waters or similar is all i am saying.

 

I agree the mountain can seem too high to climb. It can seem overwhelming at times. But the ones who make it to the summit are those who don't give in to the temptation to quit.
I don't spend much time listening to Ted Talks etc. I study with a teacher and I do my own practice.

 

You won't get any better by beating yourself up.
First step is to accept where you are in life - fully. Not where you used to be, or should be, etc. This is your starting point. And that is fine.
Now recognise that every small step you take beyond this is a huge achievement to celebrate. No matter how 'normal'/banal it might seem. Waking up at the same time each day is a huge achievement. I was in my thirties before i managed it. Eating three times a day is a challenge for some people. Eating no more than three times a day is a challenge for others.
Applying for jobs is really hard, soul destroying. You should be proud of every one you apply to. It's not a personal failure, it's a numbers game. Compare it to the people here doing 100 approaches of girls. Its not about that they get rejected all the time - of course they do. You are honing your job hunting skills and taking a gamble, the more you do it the more success you will have.

 

A baby is content and peaceful when (s)he is lying on the breast of his mom will a full stomach.

That's happiness.

 

Happiness is whatever it means to you.

Some people are happy, while being homeless, living under a bridge. Some people have everything, except for happiness.
I think chasing happiness is not the right mindset. You want a fullfilling life, a purpose, a goal and actually fight to get it.
It's like going to the gym, you hate the burning muscle pain, but you indirectly feel like a G.

Same goes for nofap. You fighting off the urges and not listening to that inner evil voice indirectly gives you a feeling of satisfaction and strength.

 

Taking long walks and listening to audiobooks. Reading in bed at night. Simple things, make the most sustainable happiness.

Small goals. Applying for one job a day.

Treating people well, even those who don't deserve it.

Stoicism. Team-CBT. Happiness comes down to your mindset and actions.

Prioritize and execute. Focus on putting effort into what's important to you.

 

One perspective I like to take on life: In the end, you don’t know what’s after this life, or even before it. This may be the only time you have to simply exist. To be, in its entirety. Enjoy life in every moment the best you can, even if just a small appreciation for being here. You have your own mind, emotions, imaginations, free will. You can let these things control you, or control them. You truly have the ability to change your own reality from within yourself. It’s a difficult realization, but a fruitful one.

 

Happiness is found in the present moment. Ups and downs are natural

 

Vert true.

 

Manage your stress levels. If you have a lot of stress in your life, find ways to reduce it. Enjoy the life with the things you have and try to be more closer to your loved ones and yourself.