Anyone experienced anger/rage? Did it pass or is it still a problem?

That's really tough man.

You're in a bad spot, and the dopamine from the porn makes the pain go away. It's hard to kick this addiction when you've got a lot of support. And it sounds like you don't. I get why you're angry.

But you gotta get that under control man. I understand rage. My wife had an affair. There were days I wanted to tear the entire world down with my bare hands and I could've. I did punch a hole in a wall. I get the rage.

But you gotta be stronger than that. Look at it this way, if you can be stronger than porn, you can be stronger than rage. Rage is actually way easier to control than porn. But to do it you have to have a plan. Don't wing it.

When you feel it, immediately start repeating a mantra to yourself in your head. It can be whatever you want. "I'm calm and in control." "Serenity now." It doesn't matter. But make yourself change the tape. If all you're focused on is the rage it'll only build. I know it feels good sometimes. So does porn. But it isn't going to take you anywhere you want to be.

Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Ground yourself. What are 5 things you can see? 4 you can hear? 3 you can touch? 2 you can smell? 1 you can taste? Have some funny memes saved on your phone to look at. Do something that pulls you out of the angry place.

Every man has dealt with rage. Every man. It is part and parcel to the experience. But the key to being a man is learning to control your urges. Lust and rage and violence and domination and everything else.

Don't wing it. Get the rage thing under control. Even if you beat porn, if you can't beat rage it will keep you from getting where you want to be. It isn't easy. But it needs to be intentional. Rage will ruin your life.

Good luck. I hope things turn around for you. Fwiw, if you don't have a criminal record sales is a good way to make a decent living. You'll have to work your tail off to make money, but if you're willing to work your tail off you can walk in the door of any sales organization and make a decent living within a year.

Make good choices man. That's all we can do.

 

If you don't want to deal with the "emotional crap", you must learn how to control your emotions. Only you can control your emotions. Once you realize that they are not a part of you but you are a part of them, that is when you will beat the demon of porn addiction. To do that you need to know them, and know yourself. Use what's called a SOBER technique when you get urges. I journaled when I was going through quitting porn, and one of my key observations in myself was that during days 1 and 2 of going without porn, I became very irritable, cranky, moody, sad, angry, etc. Basically, I had the emotions of a woman in menopause, but I took them out like a man. I did exactly what you did, punched walls, I even flipped a desk of mine when I became so mad. But later on my journey of quitting, I had to learn to handle my emotions during days 1 and 2. If your anger lasts longer than that, you may want to consider meditating or talking to someone. When I watched porn, I let the porn consume me. But when I stopped, only my true emotions could fill that void, that's why I believe that I was so irritable. I was showing "withdrawal" symptoms in the form of emotions. Sometimes, I relapsed due to feeling a certain way, but now I have identified that as a trigger of sorts. My advice is just to be aware of yourself (easier said than done, trust), and take true control of yourself. Let your emotions pass, and for some, that will also allow your porn urges to pass, mostly because they are connected with your emotional triggers in the first place. Hope this helps!

 

Yeah I’m with you, I get angry too. Very common. PMO is a form of self-soothing, so if sources of distress aren’t reduced or eliminated, and that strategy for soothing is off the table, frustrations rise.

Obviously, you have to seek & reduce the distress, and/or look for a better outlet.

As I fumble typing on this stupid phone, I’m trying to care for a 6 month old niece. I’m extraordinarily angry. She has my movement restricted, I’m held completely hostage to what she wants because otherwise she will scream. I can’t leave her. I’m just stuck, and all the other kids keep yelling and asking for things. This is going to continue for the next 4-4 1/2 hours. One of my kids stole my breakfast this morning, it’s too cold to take the baby out running… My wife is going to be upset with me for being upset, it’s just life. This too shall pass, and we get another try tomorrow.

 

thanks man

 

I think it's good to remember that this is an actual addiction, which means we all are doing it because of underlying issues. For some it is anger. For me, it's an underlying avoidant attachment issue, and I would venture to say that it is the same for most people. I don't at all enjoy masterbating and pornography, but I would do it whenever I had something I needed to get done but couldn't bring myself to do it, so instead I get the dopamine and oxytocin hit to distract me and make me feel better about not getting done what needs to get done. Ironically this only made it worse, as it would deplete my energy levels and cause a lack of motivation. I would get so depressed, but continued to avoid it by masterbating multiple times back to back. It's a horrible feeling, which is why we are all here. You're not alone.

 

I went through this not too long ago. Here’s what is happening:

I cannot speak to your past but PMO is basically a coping mechanism we often use to hide from feelings and emotions we do not wish to experience. The reason the angry feelings are coming up days after you quit PMO, is because PMO is likely the activity you to turn to, to suppress your anger. So the minute you stop PMO, the anger comes up to be resolved.

I went through (and sometimes go through) the same thing. I am a super chilled out guy but in my recovery I have:

• Shouted at my boss
• Nearly lost my job
• Cussed out my own parents
• Got into fights with strangers
• Lost close friends

The list goes on. The energy from anger can be volatile, but you want to do your best to avoid suppressing it further or ignoring it. We store this excess energy in our body and it wreaks havoc inside of us unless we find a constructive way to release it. As hard as it might be to believe, the unreleased energy/emotions in your body are very likely causing the back/neck problems you are experiencing. I also experienced the same.

I think the best point of action is to find a constructive way to release the anger. You don’t want to continue to punching holes in walls and pulling doors off hinges. If you can, pull together a routine that allows you to get rid of the excess energy you have. It may be working out, it may be boxing or it may even be sitting with a stress ball or something.

As time passes you will notice that the anger becomes less and less. You might feel irritable or frustrated, but the anger will diminish and become much more manageable. At this point you can begin focusing on your financial challenges simply because you will have more energy to do so.

Final thing: the anger likely comes from somewhere or something. If or when you feel ready, I would trace your steps back and see if you can discover where all the anger comes from. It sounds to me that you have a shed load of anger waiting to be released (I could be wrong) but it might be worthwhile looking into what’s caused all the emotion - unless you’re already aware.

Good luck

 

What you are facing is your feelings that you need to Face and let out and withdrawls.
I have had huge shifts in my mopd White deep in my addiction ( porn, drugs, alcohol, sex ). From nowhere i could Fire up and throw stuff around me, yelling and sadly starting to hit myself or Hurt myself to Calm Down. Sometimes after beacuse i felt guilty for exploding and leting my anger out on someone that did not deserve it.

The longer i been 1. Sober 2. Meditate the longer my fuse gets. I still need to just scream to let it out, but I can hold it in and wait until i maby have a pillow or im alone @home.

So that will be my advice.
1. Stay away from PMO.
2. When you get angry, let i out. ( you wont be less angry If you pmo, you will just delay it untill next time you get angry ans want to pmo. )
3. Meditate
4. Start to find the awnwer to WHY you are so angry and heal that emotional trauma.

God bless you !