Any challenge is good ! Cold showers for me ...

Hi everyone,

I didn't know if I should have posted this in the cold showers thread, or the gay one, but since there are so many things in it, I guess a new thread could do it.
And sorry for the approximate English, I'm French :]


Here's my story :

I discovered my homosexuality when I was 14, by searching for men attributes pictures (I didn't know why I was obsessed by this, and I had to compare with mine... that was really awkward), and of course I found them easily on gay P websites.

I've had two short relationships when I was 15 and 19, and since then it has been a complete void. I've always craved for a romantic and passionate love with someone, but never dared to meet people because I looked down on myself.
In fact, I had always thought that I wasn't handsome, and completely out of league compared to the gay community in Paris, plus my asian genes that didn't gift me very well, you know what I mean.
Thus, I remained single, thinking that I would never find someone that would understand me, and whom would fit my own (delusional) desires, so I clutched unto my newfound passion : music.

Then one day, around last year, I was browsing a website about growing beards (I know, I have weird hobbies ... I wanted to take the Movember challenge, but here again my genes don't give me an advantage ...) and they talked about the testosterone's role in this. That lead me to some advice that recommended not to M for seven days, which corresponds to a peak of testosterone levels.
I tried this several times, and felt quite relieved with the mental strength required to achieve this (usually, I would M at least twice a week, but a while ago I had this stupid challenge, when I was 16, on a summer trip to China, where I managed to stop for 35 days ... whoosh !).
I searched further and continued to browse link after link, and eventually found the NoFap community. That was a real shock to me, because I had never imagined that P could be this addictive, and lead to so much trouble.

I have never been a P addict, I think, but I regularly went back to this for a few weeks (especially in the bad moments of my life) and then moved on. In fact, I never needed P to have a good M time, but it indeed improved the sensations, so I did not restrict myself.
Anyway, that bred many questions about how I lived and how I imagined my life was supposed to be. So I tried the NoFap challenge, and managed to maintain it for 10 days I think, I don't quite remember. Then I quickly forgot about it.

In April, I had this new job where I was away from home for a whole month, and decided to retake the challenge, so I searched for good techniques to keep the pace, and found the miraculous Cold Shower ! That time, I relapsed after 18 days, but I was proud that I managed to do it.
However, I decided to continue the cold showers because it felt really good, and now it has been 7 months already, I even plan on going on for a whole year at least (I do not fear the winter ... hahaha ... ha ...). That is my challenge, and I can keep it better than the NoFap one (since I don't think I have a big problem with this anyway...). The only "shower relapse" I had was in September, I was sick and my body (mind...) just couldn't bear it ... four days later I got better, and it wasn't a problem anymore. I found this very interesting that I could understand my body's needs.

Two weeks ago was my birthday, and I decided I had to do something with me turning 28, and still single and not feeling love/d.
I went on a concert tour in Northern Spain, along with my 40 mates (we're a choir), and the conditions were ideal for a decisive change. So I started running with a friend, every morning on the beach before breakfast, started to eat well, and tried NoFap again, with the cold showers still going on ...

I think that was one of the best weeks in my life, the mental effort and the satisfaction of keeping up the three challenges made me feel I could do everything.
Unfortunately I relapsed when I got back home, but it didn't matter to me at all, and I'm still running every day (about 5 km in 30mn) + the cold shower right after ! The first three days of running were awful, because of the muscle soreness, but now I don't ever feel it again, that's kinda weird isn't it ?

Finally, my last adventure was with this guy I met on a dating website. I never used these tools to meet people, but since I really wanted to change things, I leapt anyway.
I told him that I needed some change in my life, and we had a drink together. He was very gentle and patient with me, always cheering me up and telling me to stop doubting myself. I think we'll see each other again ...

After eight years of wandering (wondering), today I feel really happy about how I can make it through all this, and even enjoy it.

Thanks a lot to all the NoFap community, because you are all a big inspiration to me, you helped me create and maintaining my own challenges, and even starting to heal myself.

Good luck to everyone, keep it up !