So, I think I got over my crippling social anxiety a while ago; I can talk to basically anybody now. Male. Female. It does not matter. I strike up random conversations with people when I notice them working on the same stuff in the college cafeteria and feel no anxiety while doing so. It used to be way worse, having incredible anxiety when talking to ANYBODY, even making appointments for a haircut on the telephone gave me this horrible feeling in the stomach. One could say I'm free of social anxiety. If it weren't for this one circumstance. As soon as anybody from the opposite sex shows romantic interest, it all comes back for no reason. For example, there is this one person in my language course at university, and she shows clear, 100% signs that she is interested in me. For some reason, every time she talks to me my anxiety suddenly comes back, and I honestly can't tell why. I'm not into her, I'm not trying to impress her, I'd just like regular conversations, but for some reason every time I talk with her, my eye contact is worse than normal, and I tend to speak less. What can I do about this? I tried pinning down where these feelings come from, but I can't tell.
I remember a similar thing. Currently anxiety around normal conversation is way down for me as well. Is it possible you still have subconscious PMO thoughts? That could be an explanation. The thoughts aren't noticeable - just watching a lot of porn means you 'think' along those lines when someone shows interest. Especially since you're not interested in her, and she's being normal, could it be that your subconscious interpretation of the events is making you uncomfortable? If that seems possible, no PMO for about a month is a great idea. You'll likely find that, while you do notice when someone shows interest, it affects you very little. Likely your reaction will be, 'Oh, how nice of them! Yes I'd love to hang out.'. Much less worry. And this, of course, is the ideal response to have when an individual you are interested in appears. So it's doubly helpful. Not sure if you've tried this length of streak before? Worth a shot!
To me it's a sign you are afraid of making connections. Could you attach in a safe way to both your dad and mom?
I try quitting PMO for good, and I'm confident this will be my "final" streak. It's over. And I guess you are right about PMO affecting a lot of it. Woah, this came out of nowhere, but I guess you're right. My dad is an alcoholic, and my mother is the most negative person I know, and I don't connect with them at all. So it comes from there? Never thought about it that way... What can I do about that? I don't see my parents often anymore.
Sorry, sometimes I can surprisingly show myself in all of a sudden..... Think about it, and then re-think about it. Gather more pieces to make the puzzle complete.
