Another attempt at a reboot

Just relapsed once again, after a 3 day streak(badge is inaccurate, since I haven't used the forum in a while). Things are getting tough, I have been relapsing more than ever. This relapse was nothing different. Regular day, just scrolling through my phone, was not feeling like doing school work, so the anxiety of having work to do kicked in, as well as boredom from not doing anything meaningful kicked in and, I went ahead and opened up P. It all went downhill from there, just like it always does. Initially, I was able to abstain after some peeking. I took a cold shower, read some nofap posts. The problem was just that once the boredom and anxiety of work started to kick in, I was tempted to find an escape, and what better escape then something that releases so many different chemicals, within seconds just by a few taps on a screen. So I ended up opening it up again, and that is when I relapsed..
After I MO'd, once again I felt awful. What had I done.. It sort of felt as if my whole day had been ruined. I once again feel that my reboot has been reset. Oh well, just another failure, have to get back up again.

Once again I will start my new streak from day zero. I was recently watching a video by Dr. Jordan Peterson, he stated that, removing porn addiction should not be thought of as removing porn addiction itself, but rather be thought as improving your life. That is something I am starting to realize the importance of.

When we relapse, it is not necessarily the porn that we are craving, however it is caused by us not being our best versions. To solve this, we have to work on becoming the best versions of ourselves, and that version has no room for fapping.

So I guess my main focus from now on will just be, keep working on myself, it's very tough. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed, do not know how to improve, but I have to keep trying. There are many things in life that we know we need to improve, there are somethings we do not know we need to improve, the latter is fine to have, however the former we should always keep into consideration.

Overall, it does feel like shit to relapse again, but I will try again. I have been recently keeping a journal, not necessarily related to PMO but just of my thoughts. I hope to share these journals, and hopefully get some positive remarks that keep me strong.

Thanks for reading