Anger

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by PsychicCharlie, Aug 23, 2014.

  1. PsychicCharlie

    PsychicCharlie Fapstronaut

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    I have major anger issues and I'm asking if anyone knows some ways to calm down? The anger is mostly from my OCD and I feel like I have to have the last word, when I don't if I just win the arguement
     
  2. marcopolo1

    marcopolo1 New Fapstronaut

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    Hi Charlie,

    How about viewing the world differently from your perspective that you should always be angry?
    Go out for exercise, read plenty of books, eat when you're hungry. Breathe and say to yourself that you shouldn't be angry at that person. Any persons who act out in anger is the loser.
     
  3. coolmike87

    coolmike87 Fapstronaut

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    I struggle with anger often too. The more I have loosened my grip on my addictions and focused on changing my attitudes has helped. I also go to therapy.
    Consider changing things up! I truely believe noFap has changed my attitudes for the better about alot of things. And quitting drinking.
    As far as anger goes in connection to noFap, I believe that if you got a grip on your PMOing and accomplished the self-control to overcome that, you will be less angry. Goodluck man.
     
  4. PsychicCharlie

    PsychicCharlie Fapstronaut

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  5. fap addict

    fap addict Fapstronaut

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    Any kind of compulsive action eg PMO will feed into our emotional state. It,s hard to see the connection between PMO and anger etc. But there is a connection. It is pointless to try and stop being angry while you keep doing the stuff that fuels it. You will likely find that after a sustained period of no PMO your anger will slowly disappear by itself. I was full of shame and anger but now it is surely healing.
     
  6. rsktheory

    rsktheory Fapstronaut

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    Have you ever read Eckhart Tolle's books? There is some spiritual / new agey side to it that's not my cup of tea, but there's also very practical teachings on how to deal with thoughts and emotions. Basically, how to train yourself to increase awareness while observing your thoughts and feelings (anger, sadness, irritability, etc) without reacting on them.

    It's a good read, check it out if you have the chance.
     
  7. Asafoetida

    Asafoetida Fapstronaut

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    Hey, there is something to be said about dealing with anger through physical activity. From what little I know adrenaline plays a role in fuelling anger and you can rub off its edge through a workout, preferably rigorous. That will also release endorphins, happy hormones and spark dopamine production. That should begin to check your rage, further also consider meditation to calm your mind and increase awareness. It might be worthwile to also watch food intake, not go on a special diet just cut the crap/ junk and limit smoking/ drinking as far as easily possible. All of these together with NoFap and ggod sleep make an enormous difference and though it sounds like a lot one just takes off from the other. If you don't see a significant difference in terms of progress, do consider therapy. We can rewire our brain but sometimes not singlehandedly, a little extra help goes a long way.

    I have started jogging and now get jogging urges! Like something feels amiss when I haven't gone to the park. After that I don;t feel like having coffee or beers like I normally do in the evenings, but having a light healthy meal, a fruit smoothie or something such. A light dinner and some fatigue ensure better sleep and it has started to become something of a new routine. I feel mentally more sound and emotionally more aware. Not to mention my legs feel rock solid and chiselled from running. It has tto be a holistic endeavour to tackle any problem, but it doesn't feel so effortful when the rewards are so great.

    Best of luck!
     
  8. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    hi charlie,

    getting extrem clear in mind and going to the core of my personality shows me that i am a person full of anger and very aggressive. now i have to work with this personality.

    i think my whole life i was escaping from my own personality (with alcohol, drugs, porn and hookers). now i have to face it.

    only meditation looks like an outlet.

    i will also go to therapy.

    edit: meditation and sports
     
  9. Man of Honor

    Man of Honor Fapstronaut

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    I struggle with anger. Look t the episodes when you get angry. There is usually something that weakens your self control: lack of sleep, low blood sugar, high stress. Instead of fixing your anger issue, it may help to head it off at the pass by realizing what breaks you down. For me it is all three of these, so I eat as soon as I start to feel frustrated. It's very important for me to go to bed early. Both of these help me deal with stressful situations.
     
  10. Erboinq

    Erboinq Fapstronaut

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    I have never been a more angrier and bitter person than when I was at the height of my PMOing. As I have weaned myself off it and now have gone more than two months without it, I find I'm rarely angry.

    As part of my journey of self-improvement, however, I've also been working on letting things go, not sweating the small stuff, not worrying about the future, and above all else, trusting myself. I strongly recommend doing the same. Whenever you get angry, remember to ask yourself whether the thing you are angry about really matters in the grand scheme of things. It often doesn't. And by being angry you are only succeeding in hurting yourself.
     
  11. infapablecastle

    infapablecastle New Fapstronaut

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    Anger is a HUGE problem for me, in addition to anxiety and emotional discomfort.

    At my worst, I find myself kicking walls, punching the steering wheel, shouting at people who aren't even there. The source of my anger is dysfunctional personal relationships, mostly with my parents who I live with at the moment. I find myself arguing with people in my head all day long, imagining fictional scenarios in which they try to control my life and I react with anger. I feel like I'm so tense and on edge all the time. It's beginning to effect my health. The only thing that helps is deep breathing, some meditation, and repeating the phrase in my head "[insert name], I wish you happiness and good health." I don't know how to cure the anger I suffer from. It seems ingrained. I just try to find ways to cope with it on a daily basis. It's tough. I think the issue is that I don't talk about my anger with the people who anger me, because if I did they themselves would become angry and things would escalate.
     
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2014
  12. PsychicCharlie

    PsychicCharlie Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the replies I read them all. I need to go to a therapist through just plain anger to people that aren't there. You're right I'm just damaging myself If I let myself be mad at other things while I should be fixing my other problems. I think I'm going to start meditating just so my mind can get clear it would fill up a few minutes too anyway. When I feel angry at people my OCD makes it so I think they're infront of me so i punch and try to swear as quiet as possible. I know its a illusion when I take a deep breath and look up they're not there and I've just been punching at nothing. I might have trust issues.

    Thank you all for your tips and I hope you battle the urges too. We can do this.
     
  13. jmark

    jmark Banned

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    In my experience, anger is an effect, a by-product of something else wrong in my life. Once I realized that, I was able to work on my shortcomings. Then I naturally became less angry.
     
  14. zadvanceppa

    zadvanceppa Fapstronaut

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    I agree that anger and PMO abuse have acommon denominator, somehow. My anger has subsided a lot now that I think of it. Depression has unexpeditley hit me hard, lately. I guess its a sense of loss, of so much wasted time w/ PMO'ing all these years. I was angry as hell a lot this past winter and spring and summer. My poor dog took the brunt of my rants. She does really stink though! I hit a punching bag a lot in my back yard. It has become my favorite exercise. Go Figure! I'm improving w/ this. Nofap is my salvation in a way. So damn simple yet I never stopped all these years.
     

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