Ok I've tried this before, just never found the place to talk about it. Firstly if this is the wrong place to post this I apologise, please let me know. I have to be honest it feels pathetic to admit it but in 11 years I can count on 1 hand the amount of times I've gone without porn. It has stopped me from having a single relationship, even being able to be in bed with a girl without shaking with anxiety, made me waste about £500 on paying for porn, and even worse still led me to start watching some s*** I'd never believed existed (nothing illegal, animal etc I must stress). I just want it to stop. I want to go to the gym and lose a stone, I want to have a meaningful relationship and I just want to find myself. And I know I have to do all of this by myself. I saw a post on reddit about someone going 270 days and it just woke something inside of me. Like I genuinely put my d*** back in my pants. I know this will take time, I will relapse but I will do this. I hope you all can to. Thanks for putting some faith back into me.
I'm on day 1 of a much needed journey. I have seen so much crap and I'm sick of wasting my life feeling useless. Keep your reasons always in your mind. Be strong you got this!