am i too far gone? [warning: maybe disturbing things]

Stop everything. Go read "Your brain on porn". you are not a pedophile (yet), don't let yourself become one.

the shitty part is that we all started much more "softcore" and we all got into more and more sick shit as we got used to the old porn of the past. they talk exactly about it in the book. Feelings like shame / fear can push similar buttons in our brain that feels like excitement. you see some fucked up shit and your heart starts pumping faster and the brain just makes the connection between that image and excitement and that how you make a new fetish.
you didn't do anything wrong just yet and you didn't hurt anybody except yourself. but you need to shift the feeling from excitement to shock, and learn to never put yourself in this situation again.

 

It is common for people with sex addictions experiencing mental / emotional problems. Random crazy thoughts will come up in your mind and you may feel depressed or scared by them. In my case, since I often fantasized about horror sadistic scenes in the past, images of scary faces often pop up in my head, and I was really scared sometimes. I am also feeling scared without reason sometimes, or with even very small stuff. However, please keep in mind that these strange thoughts and feelings will go away as your body recovers by quitting PMO. So don't worry about that.

Try not to focus on those thoughts that don't represent you. Don't try to suppress them. By focusing on those thoughts, you are giving them power, and it will just make them more overwhelming. Instead, watch those thoughts silently, without commenting on them. Let them come and go naturally whenever any of them pops up in your head. That's what I do when overwhelming and unwanted thoughts come up.

 

You have been given good advice. You are overthinking.