first things first, you guys need to know that I'm a guy and 18, and I also may or may not have ocd, but I do have some symptoms , whenever something bothers me, my mind likes to fuck with me and keeps reminding me of that thing, for example whenever I jerked off my mind would keep reminding me that I might cum at any second, and as soon as I thought about it it gave me the urge to cum, which lead me to not want to have sex because im scared of premature ejaculation. but now comes whats really bothering me, it's this question that's been on my head for a while now, pretty much I've always liked girls,had girlfriends, lost my virginity with one and liked it, you know, normal stuff, all that whilst watching porn, sometimes lesbian sometimes straight, then I started watching transgendered person porn, at first it disgusted me but when I got used to it, it made me harder than usual, then gay porn too, same deal, then I started sexting guys on omegle, showing my dick and all, that shit really turned me on, but made me feel like complete shit when I was done, every time I would say "I won't do this anymore" and would find myself doing it anyways the other day, I enjoy it while im horny but I just couldn't see myself dating a man or even kissing one in real life, I love the softness and smell women have but for some reason, since I've started to question my sexuality my mind is fucking with me again, and now every time I do watch porn my brain goes "nope" unless it's gay porn, it's really annoying, I don't know if im bi or not I need somebody who's been through this experience to help me this is making me go insane
You're fine, you're normal , you are experiencing what delving into too much of the transgendered person porn does....my bf is in the same boat as you. We've both dived head first into this cement filled pool. You have to avoid all porn period. Go into the porn addiction forum and you will see. Meanwhile this thread was an eye opener for my bf as he read through the comments. https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/beware-of-sissy-hypnosis.96845/
I don't think porn is a very reliable indicator of sexual orientation. Looking back now, I should have known I was gay way before I started watching porn and stuff. I'd try not to think about it too much. When you're out in public, who do you find yourself checking out hot girls, hot guys, both?
The most important thing to me, I think, would be to keep focused on the addiction, and try not to worry about your orientation. If you are accepting of others' sexuality, then you probably won't be as afraid of identifying with any orientation. So leave it be for a while. The cleaner your mind and soul become, the clearer you'll see yourself.
hot girls, I can't not look at a girl with a nice ass, When I see a good looking guy I don't really check them out, I just go like "damn I wish I could look like him"
If it helps, I began to be aware of being gay in kindergarten. At twelve, the crushes on boys began, and by fourteen, I had the name for it. I did try for "bi" with a girl in high school, but it was miserable, and it just clinched the deal. Lots of gay men have similar stories, but not all. As I say, focus on getting clean of PMO. All the rest will work itself as you strengthen in your total health.
One more thought: sexual orientation isn't so much physical as emotional. Whom you love is first. How you relate to that person is after that.
It's probably the novelty of it. It's new to you and exciting. Look up "Coolidge Effect" on YourBrainonPorn. That phase will pass. The more you watch P, the more extreme P you''ll have to watch to get you excited. Don't feel bad. I swear this is the tenth post i've seen like this.
I have found P featuring women erotic, and I could tell you why, but it has nothing to do with my sexual orientation.
This is "trancendentalistic".(I think I just made that word up.) Please tell me more. I love to learn!
As a never-thought-I-might-be-straight gay man--except for one, near miss experience--I have never had up-close-and-personal contact with the female sex. Hence, before P, I had no idea what the anatomy was like or how it worked. Part of my interest, therefore, was purely intellectual. I've got at least a little education from watching videos, since I'll never see it in person. If you read my full introduction, however, you'll see that my particular, lifelong challenge is with DE, so I am attracted to P in which the subjects have no difficulty reaching O. So I have found any videos attractive when faces showed expressions of focus, then that exquisite "pain" of going higher, and being too far along to stop, ending in explosions. No matter which sex. Men, preferably, but also some women. Does that answer your question?
that's what makes me wonder if I might be bi tbh, cuz I've never had an actual crush on a guy, when I watch gay porn it's purely sexual, maybe it's just dicks that turn me on not the actual guys lmfao, but yeah ill follow your advice and lay off porn for a while
Yasss. Mind blown. I understand you fully. So, what was your situation like growing up? Are you from a small town with a disproportionate male to female ratio? I've seen horrible demographics in some towns. You seem to have some interest. Maybe I should read your intro.
