Am I a bad person

I was doing well and feeling happy after managing to stay away from anything that would get me sexually aroused or fapping. But then, I had a bad day where I had a wet dream and another sort of dream after that I ignored it at start but then I felt like it was me, and I thought that I have nothing to lose I've already messed up. May as well fap. But now it's only 2 days after that and I've already fapped 3 times : (. The main issue is that I feel some guilt while I'm masturbating but not really after. Usually in the past it would be I'd feel guilty after, and when I searched for help on the Internet it was always feeling guilty after masturbation. So I couldn't find anyone with the same problem as me, and I feel like I'm a bad person because no one else seems to have the problem. But on the same day that I had the wet dreams and stuff I went out with my family bowling... and this is another annoying struggle that just makes me want to cry. Basically. I keep randomly getting aroused at the msot random things even when I don't find them arousing, most of the time I think it's shock or nerves. But when I was with my family bowling... It happened and I felt sooo soo terrible : ( This has never happened to me before : ( I never ever ever would want to be sexual with anyone in my family. It made me feel like I was disgusting and inferior to them and I was wondering how angry they would be if they knew. Then..the next day I flapped again and now I think it's because of what happened when I went bowling, I felt like what's the point-can't get any worse : (. This happens sometimes when I feel like there's no point. I try to stay strong and not act like there's no point. But I do,and when I fap it makes me feel guilty sometimes while I'm fapping even though ik it's fine and almsot all boys do it, but I still always feel some guilt. It feels as though I'm lying to myself just to get rid of the guilt. But then I still after masturbating don't really feel much guilt about it.... I'm so confused who I am, I feel like I've gone from a lovely little kid that his family loved to a disgusting monster. I did try to get past the family bowling thing, and I reassured myself saying that it's not what you wanted,and I felt better. But when I woke up I guess I kind of forgot all about how I reassured myself. Then I fapped.