Almost relapsed, came out stronger

So I wanted to share the experience of today.
I was with my gf most of the day, feeling great. after we parted i got a text on my phone, it was a girl from a long time ago. From the days I used to sugardaddy girls, which is pretty much prostition in disguise. she needed money and started flirting.
I knew i should have just said no thanks but I couldnt hold myself.
We chatted a bit, she started sending me sexy pictures and before i knew it i was outside, in a shady spot in the dark, outside, touching myself.
I hated the situation but I couldnt get away, it was so sudden. Here I am trying to clean up my life and change and boom it comes from nowhere. Everything came back to me.
But something WAS different, since I truly feel I am changing for the better lately and also through the nofap. I managed to see my gf, to think about her and her feelings. I managed to realize in time that my relationship is worth so much more than some hot girl that I dont really know and wants my money.
I felt sad for her.
I tranferred her a bit of money, because I felt it would be a good close up for me. To give without recieving.
I admit, I asked for nudes. But then I regretted and told her not to send. I am so glad for this.
I also edged a bit, outside.
I was close to meeting her, or looking at her pictures and going all the way - Im no angel. But I managed to tell her that I would just give her money, and that I am in a relationship and I dont want to be in touch anymore. Forever. She respected it, she is not a bad person and she didnt try to tempt me or something, Im the one who wanted the pics.
I deleted her number, and the conversation and the pictures.
I came home with my balls aching like hell, my lower belly all caught up. A bad case of blue balls.
I got in the shower and took a cold/hot/cold/hot shower, and it really did alleviate the pain.
So now here I am, and I feel so glad that I did not do anything. I didnt cum, I didnt meet her, and I made sure I have NO WAY of contacting her again.
I just want to say this feels great, it is so worth it to stick by myself. And now I know that I can remember the mental and physical pain I had during this experience, so that if anything happens again now I have another small weapon against it. Another tool to use - to help myself stay healthy.
I regret for getting into it, even if it was short, but I try not to judge myself and stay positive since I managed to behave differently.
If it had happened even a few weeks ago I think i would acted differently, thus losing my dear relationship and myself for cheap empty sexual thrills.

I decided not to reset my counter, since one of the things that helped me not act on my urges was the thought of losing my progress. Also I did suffer pain for it so I feel its justified.

Thats it, Id like to send strength to everyone! Have the courage to be good to yourself.
And also Id love to hear your thoughts

 

Well..i guess you are right.
I just feel like its a lot better than what i would have done a few days ago.
So i dont feel like i relapsed, maybe i just dont want to admit it. i totally see your point. Now i feel like i dont know how to feel or what to do

 

Thanks man. I do want to hold myself to honesty, im just truly afraid of telling her and her not seeing is as progress, altough i know she will. Sometimes it just feels like how much shit can i throw at her at once you. I want to spare this from her as long as i managed to hold myself. though i know it might not be the best way. Thank you for sharing with me man,. It helps.