"Allow myself to introduce...myself" ;)

hello all!

Well I must say I was happy to find this community! My name Is Martin I am a 29 year old male, and there are numerous reasons I have decided to take the plunge. For starters something that i have been battling since I first became sexually active. See I am one of those guys who is good looking...but was fat most of my life. So I developed an amazing personality early on in my adolescence to make up for the fact that I was fat. I didn't even find out (as it is with most former fat people) that I was good looking until I first became skinny, which wasn't even until I was about 24-25. Then I ended up gaining it all back over the last couple years...but ill get to that. What has always been a problem for me was that when I finally get a girl into bed it is hard for me to get...well hard. Only at first, and I always thought it was because I was self conscious and nervous (though I am sure that is still a major factor in it). Once I was comfortable with the girl it was not even an issue, but it sure made it hard (no pun intended) when the occasional one nighter presented itself, and so I ended up not putting myself in that position But I have always been a chronic masturbater so when I began learning more about the physical effects of constant self gratification and its effects on relationships and so on I was intrigued.

So I would have to say that is the first reason. But back to the part about me gaining all my weight back. A couple years ago the woman I was going to propose to ended up sleeping with (and eventually getting engaged to) my coworker when i was out of town. It really messed me up and I haven't had a relationship since. And over the last couple years I let myself go as they say. I didn't give a rats ass about what I was eating (and honestly that has been a problem my whole life) and I got a job where I was sitting down all day as apposed to my former profession of serving tables. And no I never worked out. I am 6 ft tall and I was about 210 lbs when I was genuinely satisfied with my looks. I have always been built with a lot of muscle, and at that point I only had a very small belly. But I ballooned all the way up to 345 lbs.

I know

But good news everyone! I decided to change. I quit smoking last year, and I completely changed my lifestyle over the last 4 months. I began eating a very strict diet of only whole foods (organic when possible) and water only. No refined sweeteners of any kind, no dairy, no wheat, just fruits, veggies, and protein (no pork) I also began working out and have built it up to 6 days a week (ddp yoga 3 days, weight lifting circuit 3 days, running on an elliptical 6 days and Mondays off). I am happy to say I have gone down to 280 lbs, put on a lot of muscle, and am well on my way to being in the best shape of my life. And although I feel great, I still masturbate every day, multiple times a day and just feel bad sometimes because of it. SO going with the idea of lifestyle change, and after reading up on all the negative effects of it I decided to join you all on this hopeful journey! I was going to jerk off one last time before I did it but instead I threw away all my porn, and just decided to try. I am very excited (as well as worried) as to what will come of this. But I have plenty of activities to help me overcome the urges I believe with my music, working out, and maybe even qigong soon who knows. If you actually read through this entire intro I truly consider you a friend for giving a good gosh damn, and thank you. Lets kick this habit in the balls!

 

Thank you!

Yep tonight I compiled all the porn on my laptop and deleted it, and made sure I canceled my porn subscription to realitykings.com (which I actually kind of forgot about so good thing this came along to remind me!). Its only been a day, but I have only been half temped so far. I have kept myself busy during my down time working on my music, working out, and I walked instead of drove up to the store to pick up a few things. Not sure I will always be able to do that but who knows. Biggest thing is all the sexuality in movies and tv shows I watch on netflix, and hbogo. You dont pay attention to how it makes you feel because when it turns you on you just make a mental note to jerk off later and then do so lol. Onward and upward!