All the women I match with on dating sites are so undesirable to me

You have to be who you are. If who you are doesn’t come across as high value, you need to raise your value.

And yes, it is highly beneficial to be friends with women you are not dating, and have no desire to date. The mere fact that you can be around women without trying to date them makes you more dateable.

 

"work on yourself":
how?:

1. what are some aspects of "yourself" you decided to improve?
2. how did you improve them?
3. what negative traits that you tried to improve?
4. what were positive traits that you tried to capitalise on?

also is there another reason you worked on yourself than trying to solve the """problem""" of not having a partner?

thank you have a great day.

 

Thank you for asking about my journey of self-improvement. Initially, I recognized several aspects of myself that I wanted to enhance. Through dedication and effort, I worked on these areas and experienced personal growth. When I met my partner, I was transparent, and still am, about my struggles, and together, we navigated through challenges as a team.

One of the negative traits I focused on improving was my tendency to procrastinate. I implemented strategies such as setting specific goals and deadlines to overcome this habit. Additionally, I addressed issues of self-doubt by practicing self-affirmations and seeking support from mentors and loved ones.

On the flip side, I also aimed to capitalize on positive traits. For instance, I honed my communication skills to express myself more effectively and foster deeper connections with others. Furthermore, I leveraged my empathy and compassion to better understand and support those around me.

Ultimately, my journey of personal development played a pivotal role in leading me to my partner. By prioritizing self-improvement, I gained clarity on what I needed in a relationship and found someone who aligned with my values and aspirations. However, I recognize that everyone's path is unique, and what worked for me may not be applicable to everyone. I encourage you to embark on your own journey of self-discovery and wish you the best in your endeavors.


For further details, you can refer to my journal.

 

I know this is going to come off sounding negative and defeatist, but I assure you it’s not. I think it’s very important to do everything you can, always, to pursue a healthy, loving, relationship. I think it’s also important to accept, or come to peace with, the fact that not everyone gets what they want in life. Accepting the latter won’t close you off to the former, in fact, having that acceptance might give you the peace needed to obtain the relationship you desire in the future.

Either way, I feel it’s important to accept the hard possible reality in order to ensure you don’t fall into the trap of basing your self-worth off of things like a relationship. You’re not worthless because you are single. Life isn’t worthless because you are single. Life can still be enjoyable and fulfilling when you are single.

 

Wow dude get outside more haha I was hoping you were being sarcastic! Part of meeting new women is luck and if youre not out doing things, trying to make yourself known, and having convos w people you put yourself at a disadvantage.

 

Man… don’t stress about women… there are greater things in life than women … one example - the glory of victory - that is a greater feeling than sex

don’t get caught up in the “dating world”. It’s not as it appears.. even guys who have girlfriends aren’t having sex and cuddling all the time..

Even the idea of marriage and sex in general.. it is a social construct forced upon us from a young age. Perhaps some people are meant to be married to each other.. but look how many marriages end in divorce..

My opinion: don’t even try with women. Don’t check them out in the street or school or wherever. Just keep your eyes focused on yourself

Don’t let society’s view of what you should be desiring torture you anymore. Be done with it!

 

As someone with "dark complexion" I can say this is not true, I've improved myself and everything and still get 0 attention lol.
In my experience, it gets easier being alone when you stop thinking about women. I recommend having productive hobbies and goals so that you'd be so occupied with becoming successful and overall a better person, you wouldn't have any time to think about having a girlfriend.

 

Go and get a tan or something! You don't gotta look like Kimbo Slice to get girls just look healthy, be clean, and be able to have good conversations. It might be beneficial to temporarily stop seeking a partner. Focus on living your life to the fullest without being in a relationship.