I did nofap for about 1 year during that time almost every girl in school was showing me choosing signals I had mad energy My mind was clear no thoughts of sex No anxiety no depression non of that bullshit I literally experienced all of the benefits of nofap now in 2020 I really have big plans for this year and I want to do so much with my life But this stupid shit has come back to my life after 1 full year of nofap From the feb 1 to current time now feb 18 Am going back to my old habits and I can’t stop doing this shit It started with “ohh I did a full year lemme see how it is” To now which I masturbated about 6 times in less than 18 days After the the first fap I lasted about 8 days then now I can’t even last 2 days I keep making this bullshit ass excuses in my head that I know it’s bullshit like “This is the last time” And I don’t even like watching porn the urges are just really strong and I end up making this bullshit excuses in my head and end up convincing my self and doing this disgusting shit And regret what I have done in under 3 minutes and end up feeling like shit for days then urges come back then I fap again this cycle happend now 4 times and I don’t know what to do And on top of that I feel moody angry depressed and get anxiety this is so fuckn killing me I really fuckn hate this and I don’t want to go back to this addiction again If anyone went through this please help!
You've done it before, you can do it again maybe get some blockers to help in the early stages? Well done for your years, bit right now take it one day at a time.
Mark Twain once said, "If you find yourself in a hole, the 1st step is to stop digging." The main thing now is to stop! If you feel out of control, find something you can control. Your breath for instance. Tapping or not tapping your foot. That is where I'd start. Going a year is amazing! most i've ever gone is about 6 months or so.
So your depression got better and you were able to stop but now that depression and anxiety returned - you find it hard to stop. I am not sure if there is a pattern there. Maybe - depression and emotional instability could actually be the cause for impulsive, pleasure seeking behavior and poor self control, motivation etc..... Ohh wait, this is exactly what medical community actually proposes, so that cant be right... When you have stable mood and positive out look on life - you have the ability to stay true to your commitments because oh inherent motivation in feeling great, when you loose that and become depressed everything looses meaning so nothing will motivate you so there is nothing to stop you from doing things you want to in the moment.