Addiction to porn/PMO vs addiction to (porn-less) masturbation

If he is thinking of people he is not married to, it is exactly the same thing. The solutions are the same as well. If we don't quit the fantasy, porn will follow.

 

It is irrelevant if fantasy is involved. Masturbation is bad for u and can also lead to addiction to it . Not only that but since it is an addiction u will eventually build a tolerance to it and will need to escalate.

This will either lead to PMO and addiction to it , or to some other deranged behavior.
No matter how u look at it, it is not a good thing, I is like stopping cocaine but than using another drug to replace it . Makes no sense

 

Is he married? The selfishness aspect comes into play in that case. And if he is not married, he is training himself to enjoy something that another person will never be able to provide. Any way you slice it, it is a less than ideal path.

 

Anything we turn to for comfort in the midst of stress can become problematic. If you eat a cookie every time you are under stress, you may struggle with controlling your weight. If you have a beer, you risk becoming dependent on it. If you turn to MO, even without lust, you are misusing a good thing in a way that will cause problems down the road.

It seems to me that we are left with only the option of seeking comfort from the Lord. These other things are fine, but we cannot rely on them. The Lord alone is utterly reliable and he alone can be consumed repeatedly and in abundance without harming us.

The question for me then becomes, what does that actually look like in practice? How does the Lord actually comfort us when we are in distress? What are the mechanics of that occurring? This is something I am meditating on this year and will be praying about with focus to see what the Spirit has to teach me. It is something I know next to nothing about.

 

I really like this question, because it is something that has been gnawing at me for a long time. I do echo @Mara43 's sentiments about the Word, prayer, and praise through song.
What does it mean to "consume" the Lord, and how can we do it practically, as you put it?

For me, what has helped is to encompass a broad view to include anything that is inherently Good, and good for us.
We have various 'tools' in a toolkit, to help draw us near His presence, practically.
The cool thing is, I think these tools can be as flexible and diverse as we are. And they can be synonymous with our individual passions, hobbies, or interests.

For me, I like using exercise or walks outside while listening to Scripture. If I'm in a tempting situation with burning urges, I know that sitting down and forcing myself to read Scripture, with a laptop 5 feet away from me, will not be as effective in deterring distressful temptation as cranking up songs and going out for a walk.


I don't think this is the intention, but I get the sense that some 'Christian' approaches tend to 'over-spiritualize' the fight against temptation, without considering the very real, tangible, concrete graces that God has laid all around us.
I don't mean we are to do without prayer, Scripture, etc. But I think it can be a very effective tool when we LINK UP these foundational 'spiritual' practices, with things that can address the 'mechanics' of our being.
That might look like physically kneeling or laying flat on the floor while listening to worship songs.
Or going for a walk while consciously thanking God for specific things.
Or calling a friend.
Or picking up the guitar
Or going to bake some cookies
Or pumping out 30 pushups

I'm starting to understand that anything can be used by God to draw us to Himself, if we enter into these with a spirit of openness to being with Jesus. It's freeing because it doesn't separate life into 'sacred vs secular' or 'prayer time vs other time'. All of life then becomes a prayer.

 

I personally see it all coming down to what Paul says in 1 Cor 6

“Everything is permissible for me,” but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me,” but I will not be mastered by anything

I might be in the minority in that I don't think every instance of M is inherently a sin. I am still working this out for myself.
This doesn't mean I favor M, or think it is ideal. I think it is sub-par to the fuller life we are called to.
I do think it is possible to engage in M purely without feeding mental images of lust.
But then I'd have to ask myself, am I feeding my bodily sensations instead? And can I lust through this? (why do I assume that 'lust' is merely an 'image' thing? Can I not 'crave' through my bodily sensations)

One can become captive to 'bodily sensations' just as much as 'images'. I think the Life in Jesus calls us to be enslaved to neither.
So although I do see grey areas with M, depending on the situation, Self control is a fruit of the Spirit to which we were called to. Why not aim for the best for us?

 

I think this is what it means, at least in part, to "pray without ceasing." This is how we get there: To engaged God in every moment of our waking lives and invite him into our sleeping hearts, as well.

 

What is there ta ask yourself about M is having sex with your own hand , how anyone sees this as permissible is beyond me .

 

I learned from this discussion aswell, I will read more of the teaching on here